mmmm...pasta.
i think i'm getting insomnia or something, i never sleep anymore, but the
weird thing is i'm not tired all the time or anything like that. i've been staying
up until 4 in the morning and waking back up anywhere from 9am to noon.
which isn't too bad. but i hate it. cause there's nothing to do at that time in
the morning and i get bored of getting bored trying to watch tv to fall asleep.
this breakup thing and all my new girl drama isn't helping either. i want to go
hang out with this girl every night when i'm up this early but i can't. and i
want to go hang out with another girl that used to be my boss that keeps telling
me we need to hang out and that never works out either. mainly cause i'm a
sissy about making initiative. in a way i don't want to ever sleep cause i feel
like i'm missing out on something. i used to be this way about 5 years ago or so
after another breakup. it always happens in lonely periods of my life. after that
breakup, when i first started college and lived alone and didn't know anyone, and
now after the end of the longest relationship i've ever been in.
jesus, how about a personal journal entry huh? i guess it's not too bad, i used to
write shit like this for a zine about 4 years ago too. i guess loneliness(sp?) is
something that has always plagued me, i guess that's why i always seem to be
in relationships with girls and end up spending all my time with them. because
i'm scared to be alone. i don't know if that is pathetic or normal. i know some
that love to be alone and don't have a problem with it, but i get so anxious
being at home by myself wanting to do something and none of my "stuff"
is entertaining enough for me, then i don't want to go to sleep because i want to
do something. i wish i had a bike or something. i need to figure out a way to
rid myself of the need for constant human interaction.
i think i'm getting insomnia or something, i never sleep anymore, but the
weird thing is i'm not tired all the time or anything like that. i've been staying
up until 4 in the morning and waking back up anywhere from 9am to noon.
which isn't too bad. but i hate it. cause there's nothing to do at that time in
the morning and i get bored of getting bored trying to watch tv to fall asleep.
this breakup thing and all my new girl drama isn't helping either. i want to go
hang out with this girl every night when i'm up this early but i can't. and i
want to go hang out with another girl that used to be my boss that keeps telling
me we need to hang out and that never works out either. mainly cause i'm a
sissy about making initiative. in a way i don't want to ever sleep cause i feel
like i'm missing out on something. i used to be this way about 5 years ago or so
after another breakup. it always happens in lonely periods of my life. after that
breakup, when i first started college and lived alone and didn't know anyone, and
now after the end of the longest relationship i've ever been in.
jesus, how about a personal journal entry huh? i guess it's not too bad, i used to
write shit like this for a zine about 4 years ago too. i guess loneliness(sp?) is
something that has always plagued me, i guess that's why i always seem to be
in relationships with girls and end up spending all my time with them. because
i'm scared to be alone. i don't know if that is pathetic or normal. i know some
that love to be alone and don't have a problem with it, but i get so anxious
being at home by myself wanting to do something and none of my "stuff"
is entertaining enough for me, then i don't want to go to sleep because i want to
do something. i wish i had a bike or something. i need to figure out a way to
rid myself of the need for constant human interaction.