drowninglotus

What exactly am I doing in this town? I like Seattle, but I'm not sure how a normal wage earning person is expected to live here. Albeit, some of it is my own money woes, with a new transmission to pay off and my penchant for not having a roommate, but I barely imbibe in any luxury. I live in a tiny one-room apartment that was the cheapest I could find, I buy off-brands at the supermarket, my entertainment consists of Blockbuster. What I think really upsets me is that I don't feel as if I actually live here. For the last four months I have been trying to find a permanent job that pays more than I'm making now (I'm a temp). I don't feel I can settle in unti l have employment that allows me some semblance of security. There are many things I'd like to get involved in, but I think until my residency is secure I shouldn't make those committments. I found a nice studio to restart my tai chi training, I want to do some volunteering with Big Brothers, become a member of a local temple. These are not frivolous activities, yet they seem to elude me. Perhaps I'm just whining or I haven't tried hard enough. Fuck if I know. I'd just like to be able to ask a girl out for the evening without having to purposely save up money for three weeks to pay for it. As soon as this town starts to grow on me it looks like my days here may be numbered. Bah.

The ones that you loved
The ones that you left behind
The ones you said you'd try to find
Are they tryin' to find you?
~Dropkick Murphys