23, that's my age. I feel ancient. Not because 23 is old, in fact it's quite young, but becaue I've lived a life most 23 year olds have not. I have lived and loved with every ounce of energy I can muster. Now I feel that it's all dried out of me. My old friends I've kept close to me in my heart and mind. I don't talk to the majority of them anymore. They have their own life and I have mine. We're not the same people. But I wish we we're still back there laying on the hood of my car watching a meteor shower, or sitting at the bar singing kareoke, or just driving to some diner 5 hours away just because we were bored. I want to always feel 10ft tall and bullet proof, and I want to be with those people that made me feel that way. I can never have that again. I look forward to building something like that when I'm in a position to, but I'll never feel like that again. I understand this, and I understand that it could be just as good or better in the future. But I'm old fashioned. I want to be young and dumb and irresponsible. I don't want an adult life. I want to be forever 20 years old at a bar with my friends. But I continue to get older, and an older person living that way is just sad. I'll get over it, but that's on my mind right now.
The me I want to be right now.
The me I want to be right now.
My best advice would be to relish your memories, laugh about the past but keep moving forward and making new things a part of your life. Pretty soon you'll find that what you're doing now is just as memorable and unique as what you used to do; just in a different way. Hang in there bud; it's a phase, a part of growing up.