i just got through reading someone's sg journal... and i really feel for them. it got me to thinking of ao conversation that i had with a good freind. we were talking about our (at the time) current relationships. and we both came to a conclusion... being in similar situations... so happy... content... at peace with everything. that neither of us were sure that we'd survive if it were to end. the feeling... of finally, FINALLY, having found what you had been searching for your entire life. and have it end like all the others... with you questioning yourself late at night, unable to sleep, wondering what YOU did, what YOU didnt do, what went wrong.... you're left to relying on the ones who care enough to put up with your bullshit, just to keep you going. thankfully... her relationship is still going very well. i love her dearly, and i'm very happry for her. but as for me... i wasnt so lucky. and i am now... in that dark place. and all i can think of, is what my freinds said to me during our discussions. "if this falls apart, it'll break me. and i know that i couldnt try again". and that's exactly how i feel... finding myself in that happy place i never thought i'd find, just to have it end like all the rest?
and people ask me if i believe in a god...
