dree

I actually felt strong, I felt like I could breathe. I was doing so well. Why did you have to go and ruin that by talking to me?

The day after my last blog my ex and I didn't talk. At all. The whole day. It was the first day since we broke up that we haven't talked. Hard to believe it's been a month now. As much as I complained and whined to my friends about how badly I wanted him to talk to me I knew it was the right thing not to. I woke up the next morning around six. I didn't feel like crying, I didn't feel that sunken in chest feeling, I felt like I could breathe. I was fully prepared to tell him to come pick up his stuff that day. Then around seven AM I get a text from him. As I saw the name light up on my phone it felt like my chest started getting heavy again.

I was being short with him. Waiting for the right time to tell him he had to get his stuff today but then he tells me his friend died the day before. His friend was riding his motorcycle in San Fran and a guy did an illegal U-turn and hit him. He was in a coma for three days and then his heart stopped.... After him telling me that how could I be stern with him and then tell him to get his stuff? I didn't want to seem like a cold heartless bitch. So I found myself saying sorry and trying to comfort him. Damn it.

Later in the day while I was at school he was texting me and this was a piece of our conversation:
Him: "Hahahaha. You should goto work naked, And then I'd show up naked. And then It's be awkward. Haha"
Me: "hahaha, why would you come into Justice in the first place? Especially naked... When you know I'd be naked that day."
Him: "Ohh, well... you know. ;D hahaha."
Me: "Lies!!! You're nothing but a teeeeeaaaasssseeee. Tease tease teeeaaase."
Him: "Hahahaha. Not even. No teasing here."
Me: "Mhm! You don't even like me anymore. You just want my boddddyyyy."
Him: "What are you talking about?!"
Me: "You knooooowww"
Him: "Not at alll."

What the fuck? What does he not know? Not at all about what I'm talking about or not at all because he still likes me? He is the most confusing person I have ever met in my life. And then today he texts me about two hours ago just asking what was up and we have been talking since then just about random things. The topic right now is pizza. Ugh..

Tomorrow I need to tell him to come get his stuff.
I've been cleaning my room out of everything that reminds me of him. I took down pictures of him, drawings he drew for me, gathering his little nick nacks and clothing items of his that he left here and putting them away until he can come get them. It doesn't help thought that song lyrics, types of cars, how some people dress, and graffiti make me think of him. He's still everywhere to me in that sense. And every asian bitch I see I want to punch then makes me think of him because of the other girl..

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Like I mentioned before, we have been texting while I've been writing this and I felt like I should add this piece of our conversation in this blog as swell.
Him: "Well, besides Cristopher pizza. That's the best."
Me: "Oh, haha."
Him: "Haha. HATER."
Me: "Hah, noooo, Not at all."
Him: "Yep. 'Hi, my names Adrienne, and all I do all day is hate on Cristopher."
Me: "I don't think you want to play this game with me right now. Haha. I could be really mean and just piss you off. Then you'll hate me."
Him: "You could be. But then I would just not talk to you."
Me: "Yeah. I know. Sooo I will zip my lip and just smileee. =]"
Him: "Ha Well, I guess you could say it if you really want. You'll just have to deal with me not talking to you."
Me: "I'm thinking about it. Ha. But then I'd rather stop talking to you on a good not then on a bad note where you're just pissed at me."


I'm oh so tempted to reply with something like

"Hi, my name is Cristopher and I left my amazing girlfriend who loved me a whole lot and would do anything for me to party and flirt with Victoria four days after we broke up. I like to keep Adrienne guessing and make her believe that I still really like her and that we'll get back together by telling her sweet things but when she tells me cute things back I take what I said back and then just go kick it with other girls. I want to be free so I don't the responsibilities of having a girlfriend and so I can hook up with other girls if I want to and not have a girlfriend to be mad at me, but I am still sweet on Adrienne because I know she loves me more than anything and she'll always be here in the end. My name is Cristopher and I lost Adrienne today."