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dree

Member Since 2009

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Friday Sep 04, 2009

Sep 4, 2009
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Why do I torture myself like this?
Why the hell would I put on my ex's jacket? Maybe I wanted to see if it still smelt like him? Maybe I wanted to make it smell like me? Maybe when he coms to get his stuff he'll get my scent and miss me? I really should make him come get his stuff. I really should take down the pictures he's drawn me. Keeping everything is doing me no good.

My plan yesterday was not to text him and wait for him to make an effort and text me first. If he wanted to talk to me, he would right? What am I supposed to think when he did text me first to ask what I was doing and to ask how I was? Shouldn't that mean that he misses me? I don't know. Later yesterday night he textes me again but was drunk. He's an asshole. Bottom line. That's just his personality. When he's drunk he's even more of an asshole. He's an angry drunk and I hate it. Last night while talking to me he put a lot of thoughts into my head. I don't like what he's turned into and I really shouldn't have feelings for him. I really wish I didn't love him and I wish I could fall out of love with the snap of my fingers.

He sends me so many mixed messages. He'll say rude things to me and put me down. Half of me knows that he's kidding and the other half knows that I shouldn't be treated like that, ever, even if he is kidding. Then he'll turn around and say something totally sweet or just something that was nice. His friend that I talk to about all this tells me that he still likes me and when I told him that my ex texted me yesterday to see how I was, his friend told me that he misses me. Then his friends brings up a conversation that they had about me. He told me that my ex said "She chose her friends over me the first break a few months ago, she shouldn't expect that I won't do the same." Does that mean he's just trying to get back at me for hurting him a few months back?

And why is it okay for him to say cute things to me but when I say cute things to him he's short with me and what he replies back with makes me feel stupid for even talking to him?

It seems that when I feel strong and like I have the strength and willpower to try and move on and let go, he comes to me and fogs up my mind again.

My heart doesn't like games.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
personaljesus:
Yes, nine steps I'll explain them all to you when you get here! smile And no step skipping!! wink
Sep 4, 2009
skidmatic:
roflmao


About the other comments, not you. Yeah I'd say talk to him and be really forward and throw yourself at him. Then never talk to him again for the rest of your life. It will mess with him so bad.
Sep 6, 2009

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