start of my day today....following is a letter I submitted to the Weekly Dig's "Oh Cruel World" column for publication after leaving for work this am...
Dear Phantom Shitter,
Thanks for adding to the list of what I have to put up with paying $200 per month to park in an alley. It's not bad enough that my car has been hit by drunks and delivery trucks 7 times in the last 6 years, tearing off my sideview mirrors, popping my tires, gouging all four corners of my Jeep. The spent condoms littering the ground from the hookers who use it as a place of business or the hook-up guys from the bar around the corner are not enough degradation for the ground I park on. We installed a new flood light that rivals the lighting at Fenway Park just over where I leave my vehicle every night and yet you found it a comfortable spot to squeeze out a turd. Thanks for the homerun crap to start my day at 6:15am. I hope your irritable bowels spasm on Newbury St. next time...in the middle of the day.
An Urban Smeller
Dear Phantom Shitter,
Thanks for adding to the list of what I have to put up with paying $200 per month to park in an alley. It's not bad enough that my car has been hit by drunks and delivery trucks 7 times in the last 6 years, tearing off my sideview mirrors, popping my tires, gouging all four corners of my Jeep. The spent condoms littering the ground from the hookers who use it as a place of business or the hook-up guys from the bar around the corner are not enough degradation for the ground I park on. We installed a new flood light that rivals the lighting at Fenway Park just over where I leave my vehicle every night and yet you found it a comfortable spot to squeeze out a turd. Thanks for the homerun crap to start my day at 6:15am. I hope your irritable bowels spasm on Newbury St. next time...in the middle of the day.
An Urban Smeller