It's a trip being diagnosed with depression/anxiety and borderline bipolar. I mean, I take meds, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it's crazy. Like I'm pretty sure I know how I'm going to die. I'm going to commit suicide at some point in my life. I've seen it. I don't know how or when, but I just know that I won't live a normal human lifespan.
Please don't take this as a cry for help. It's not. I am perfectly fine. Sure I may be sucking on a 4Loko and smoking some home-grown...but I'm not in a bad or dark place. I'm fine. Swear. It's just that the world, my personal demons, my mental illness will cause me at some point to accelerate my journey into the great beyond.
Meds only do so much. They don't take away the pain or make you happy. They don't make everything ok. Life is still a struggle...for everyone, not just me. But we all have our coping mechanisms, yeah? Hunter S Thompson used to do massive amount of drugs and alcohol to deal with his demons but they eventually caught up to him. No hotlines or call to friends or vague-booking was going to stop his destiny. This is how I feel about my life. People go thru life wondering how they are going to shuffle off this mortal coil. I just happen to, basically, know my ending.
Ugh...aaaanyway...I'm a little F'd up! LOL! Thanks for listening to me rant. I don't know anyone here and I feel I can say some things here that I can't in other social medias. Again...if you are one of the 2 people that read this...I AM FINE. I SWEAR!! I promise not to harm myself. I just had to say this "outloud".
EDIT...One more thing. I LOVE the "cock hero" videos on pornhub.com.
Thanks for listening!