::puts on 2600 shirt::
I miss Sean. He's been on my mind ever since the wake.
Sean McGill was probably the single most influential person in my life, and now he's dead.
Everything that has led up to who I am now I can trace back to the day I met him. Without him, I wouldn't dress the way I do, I probably wouldn't have the same interests I do now, I wouldn't listen to the music I do, I wouldn't have met any of my current or past friends, I wouldn't have met Neil for sure, and I wouldn't be a part of this site because I would be debilitatingly anti-social.
I don't know whether it was as a joke or serious, but the day he approached me (and my, like, two friends) at the lunch table in 9th grade introduced me to him and his friends, and changed my life forever. You can't get much more influential than that.
On April 5, he was gone.
It's moments like these that make you realize who your friends really are. It brings out the best and the worst in people.
When I went to his wake, I was absolutely shocked by the amount of people who showed up. I mean, he had a lot of friends, but even then I was surprised that some people were there. Matt came back from China just for this. China! People who were really just acquaintances apparently were hit harder than I thought. Shows that maybe I wasn't the only one.
Taryn went with me, and she was a part of that group before I was, but she wasn't really friends with Sean. The fact that half of the people there acknowledged that she was there and ignored me really made me realize just where I stood with them.
I was an outsider. I wasn't supposed to be there. He was their friend, not mine, and I had no right to grieve.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't everybody, in fact, everybody I considered important came to me, and even some people I didn't expect.
Honestly, what really struck me was Taryn. It's times like these that make you realize how much people have changed, too.
The whole time, the only thing she could mention was how fake and/or pretentious some people were being. She made a comment about Tara, a friend of ours from high school who has kind of fallen out of favor with her, and the fact that she was crying, "as if she deserved to be upset right now. She wasn't even friends with him, really."
Directly after Tara had come to me, giving me a hug to let me know that I deserved to be upset. I wanted to scream at her, ask her where the hell her priorities were. A member of your graduating class is dead, and you're bringing up social status?
I think that was the turning point. I don't think there's any way I can feel the same way about her as I used to. I really did love her with all my heart at one point... but she's not the same person she used to be; she's someone completely different. Someone I'm finding out I want to be around less and less.
And that hurts, a lot. It hurts to know that someone I considered the love of my life can be so callous and unfeeling, and completely oblivious to the pain she's caused me. But I still really do care about her, and I don't know that I can even say this to her.
But we'll see, I guess. It's times like these you realize where you really stand.
I miss Sean. He's been on my mind ever since the wake.
Sean McGill was probably the single most influential person in my life, and now he's dead.
Everything that has led up to who I am now I can trace back to the day I met him. Without him, I wouldn't dress the way I do, I probably wouldn't have the same interests I do now, I wouldn't listen to the music I do, I wouldn't have met any of my current or past friends, I wouldn't have met Neil for sure, and I wouldn't be a part of this site because I would be debilitatingly anti-social.
I don't know whether it was as a joke or serious, but the day he approached me (and my, like, two friends) at the lunch table in 9th grade introduced me to him and his friends, and changed my life forever. You can't get much more influential than that.
On April 5, he was gone.
It's moments like these that make you realize who your friends really are. It brings out the best and the worst in people.
When I went to his wake, I was absolutely shocked by the amount of people who showed up. I mean, he had a lot of friends, but even then I was surprised that some people were there. Matt came back from China just for this. China! People who were really just acquaintances apparently were hit harder than I thought. Shows that maybe I wasn't the only one.
Taryn went with me, and she was a part of that group before I was, but she wasn't really friends with Sean. The fact that half of the people there acknowledged that she was there and ignored me really made me realize just where I stood with them.
I was an outsider. I wasn't supposed to be there. He was their friend, not mine, and I had no right to grieve.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't everybody, in fact, everybody I considered important came to me, and even some people I didn't expect.
Honestly, what really struck me was Taryn. It's times like these that make you realize how much people have changed, too.
The whole time, the only thing she could mention was how fake and/or pretentious some people were being. She made a comment about Tara, a friend of ours from high school who has kind of fallen out of favor with her, and the fact that she was crying, "as if she deserved to be upset right now. She wasn't even friends with him, really."
Directly after Tara had come to me, giving me a hug to let me know that I deserved to be upset. I wanted to scream at her, ask her where the hell her priorities were. A member of your graduating class is dead, and you're bringing up social status?
I think that was the turning point. I don't think there's any way I can feel the same way about her as I used to. I really did love her with all my heart at one point... but she's not the same person she used to be; she's someone completely different. Someone I'm finding out I want to be around less and less.
And that hurts, a lot. It hurts to know that someone I considered the love of my life can be so callous and unfeeling, and completely oblivious to the pain she's caused me. But I still really do care about her, and I don't know that I can even say this to her.
But we'll see, I guess. It's times like these you realize where you really stand.