draven7794

Know When to Say When, Goddammit!!!!

I have said, for a long time now, "Dont be a hero, know when to Tap Out. Its advice that every jujitsu instructor I have ever had has given me, and its very correct. Because its basically telling you to know your limits, dont be an idiot and try to do something that you have no business trying to do.

So why is that when youre trying to have a good time, youre out having a few drinks with friends, there is always someone there who doesnt know when they have had enough, and fucks the night up for everyone else? I have lost count of the number of times that I seen someone severely over shoot their target. Next thing you know, they are puking their guts up, getting into fights, trying to fuck the swamp creature at the end of the bar, attempting to set themselves on fire, or some combination there of.

Gallagher once said,"Never smoke dope, when youre stoned. You dont get any higher, just lower on Dope". Excellent advice when you are drinking, also. When you are out drinking, its always a good idea to drink to the buzz. Whatever your buzz includes, whether you get goofy, giggly, handsy, or you turn into the "I love you, man" person, it doesnt matter. STOP THERE!!! The rookie mistake at this point is to keep drinking, because most rookies think that if they feel this good after a few drinks, they will feel even better if they drink more. Huge mistake, because this usually ends with said rookie face down in the toilet. And anytime you are forced to put your face where most people put their ass, that's an Epic Fail.

So then the question is,"How do I know when Ive had enough?". Very simple test. If you arent sure if you have had enough, try walking down a hallway. If its fun, youre drunk, stop now. Another test is to quickly turn your head to one side, like you just heard someone shout your name. If youre head stops moving but the rest of the room doesnt, Youre drink, stop now.

Warning: There will always be someone there, no matter where you are, who's sole purpose for being there is to get you as drunk as humanly possible. For whatever reason, whether its because he is trying to get into your pants or because he believes that you should be as drunk as he is (yes it's usually a guy). There will always be someone there who will provide you with the tools for your own demise. And the reason its ususally a guy and hardly ever a girl is because girl's, especially hot girls, dont pay for their own drinks so there is no way in hell they are paying for yours. And girls, especially hot girls, dont really need any help getting laid, so getting a guy liquored up enough to have sex is completely unnecessary. She might buy you one or two drinks to get your attention, but thats about it. Only once have I had a girl buy me drink, after drink, after drink. I thought I was getting laid that night. NOPE, she just wanted me to kick the shit out of another guy.

And if you are the fuck-wit who says,"I never say no to a free drink", well then Im the asshole who writes,"I never say no to a free drink" on your forehead with a Sharpie, after drawing a dick on the side of you face, while you are passed out.

Im just trying to help here, folks. Because Im tired of being the friend who pulls you out of fights, carries your drunk ass into the house, tries to calm you down and convince you that youre just drunk and not dying, keeps you from setting yourself on fire, makes sure that youre not passed out on your back (otherise known at ths point as the "Hendrix position"). Then going back out and cleaning your vomit out of my backseat. All of these things, I have done multiple times, by the way. Just because you didnt know when to tap, the fuck, out.