Its Just Alcohol and Caffeine, fuck you very much.
For those of you who havent heard, the alcohol and energy drink, Four Loco has recently come under fire. Reports are that the beverage has been causing siezures and other dangerous health issues. There have been several reports of college aged kids being taken to hospitals because of this evil devil drink.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! YOU MEAN COLLEGE KIDS ARE BEING TAKEN TO HOSPITALS BECAUSE THEY ARE DRINKING TOO MUCH????? THAT SHIT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!!! Fuck you, I got news for you. College kids are fucking idiots who tend to fuck up and over shoot their target. Thats what you are supposed to do in College. Do you remember some of this shit that you did when you were in college? I should have died several times over for some of the shit that I did in college. It was mainly banging other guys' girlfriends just to see if I could get away with it (And I did...every single fucking time). But that's kind of my point. It was a stupid thing to do and if I had ever been caught, I probably would have gotten stomped into a warm gooey paste. My point is that college kids are going to do stupid shit and banning a particular drink isnt going to stop them.
And now I see a news story with some of the most back-assward, fuck-tard logic that I have ever heard in my life. One "expert" went on camera and said the words "These drinks have so much alcohol in them that when you drink them, you actually dont realize that youre drunk". WHAT....THE....FUCK?? What does that even mean? To all of my fellow alcohol drinking heathens out there, have you ever drank so much that you didnt know you were drunk? I have drank myself sick, I have drank other women pretty, I have even drank until I thought I might actually have super powers. But during each and every one of those events, I was fully aware that I was completely hammered.
Now for those of you who dont have a background in Anatomy or Physiology, let me explain a little something about alcohol. Alcohol causes feelings of euphoria, and it lowers inhibitions. Which explains the saying "Alcohol doesnt change the person you are, it just reveals it". Now the common rookie mistake, at this point, is to drink more because you think that it will make you feel even better. WRONG. Because too much alcohol will actually begin to poison the body. Which is why you get sick. When your body feels that you have overdone it, Your body will try to rid itself of this poison, which is why you eventually start to puke. If that doesnt work, the brain will just tap out. Which is what happens when you pass the fuck out, and thats when your friends gather around and start drawing dicks on your face and taking pictures. All perfectly acceptable things to do in college.
Here is the shocking part. This shit has been happening decades and decades before Four loco was ever even thought of. This can be done on any alcohol. No Four Loco needed. So why in the blue hell do you think that banning this particular drink is going to prevent this from happeneing in the future?
Ill tell you why. Because anyone who actually believes this to be fact is an uptight dick head who needs to lighten the fuck up, crack the top on a Four Loco and enjoy what little time you have left on this planet.
And do me a favor, dont give me some bullshit about 300,000 people a year drink themselves into an early grave. GOOD! Its called natural selction. If you arent smart enough to know when to say when, then you dont get to procreate and raise alcoholic retards of your own. And by the way, there is no such thing as an early grave. When your number is up, your number is up. Early grave is like premature ejaculation, they are both bullshit. You might be able to hold them of for a while, but you arent going to be able to stop them.
So spare me all of your fear mongering bullshit. Stop trying to sell me on the idea that Four loco is the sole cause of college kids being fucking idiots. And stop pretending that the world was this fucking utopia before the arrival of the demon lord alcohol. Now somebody bring me a Jack and Coke every 10 minutes until I no longer feel the need to stab someone in the neck.
For those of you who havent heard, the alcohol and energy drink, Four Loco has recently come under fire. Reports are that the beverage has been causing siezures and other dangerous health issues. There have been several reports of college aged kids being taken to hospitals because of this evil devil drink.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! YOU MEAN COLLEGE KIDS ARE BEING TAKEN TO HOSPITALS BECAUSE THEY ARE DRINKING TOO MUCH????? THAT SHIT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!!!! Fuck you, I got news for you. College kids are fucking idiots who tend to fuck up and over shoot their target. Thats what you are supposed to do in College. Do you remember some of this shit that you did when you were in college? I should have died several times over for some of the shit that I did in college. It was mainly banging other guys' girlfriends just to see if I could get away with it (And I did...every single fucking time). But that's kind of my point. It was a stupid thing to do and if I had ever been caught, I probably would have gotten stomped into a warm gooey paste. My point is that college kids are going to do stupid shit and banning a particular drink isnt going to stop them.
And now I see a news story with some of the most back-assward, fuck-tard logic that I have ever heard in my life. One "expert" went on camera and said the words "These drinks have so much alcohol in them that when you drink them, you actually dont realize that youre drunk". WHAT....THE....FUCK?? What does that even mean? To all of my fellow alcohol drinking heathens out there, have you ever drank so much that you didnt know you were drunk? I have drank myself sick, I have drank other women pretty, I have even drank until I thought I might actually have super powers. But during each and every one of those events, I was fully aware that I was completely hammered.
Now for those of you who dont have a background in Anatomy or Physiology, let me explain a little something about alcohol. Alcohol causes feelings of euphoria, and it lowers inhibitions. Which explains the saying "Alcohol doesnt change the person you are, it just reveals it". Now the common rookie mistake, at this point, is to drink more because you think that it will make you feel even better. WRONG. Because too much alcohol will actually begin to poison the body. Which is why you get sick. When your body feels that you have overdone it, Your body will try to rid itself of this poison, which is why you eventually start to puke. If that doesnt work, the brain will just tap out. Which is what happens when you pass the fuck out, and thats when your friends gather around and start drawing dicks on your face and taking pictures. All perfectly acceptable things to do in college.
Here is the shocking part. This shit has been happening decades and decades before Four loco was ever even thought of. This can be done on any alcohol. No Four Loco needed. So why in the blue hell do you think that banning this particular drink is going to prevent this from happeneing in the future?
Ill tell you why. Because anyone who actually believes this to be fact is an uptight dick head who needs to lighten the fuck up, crack the top on a Four Loco and enjoy what little time you have left on this planet.
And do me a favor, dont give me some bullshit about 300,000 people a year drink themselves into an early grave. GOOD! Its called natural selction. If you arent smart enough to know when to say when, then you dont get to procreate and raise alcoholic retards of your own. And by the way, there is no such thing as an early grave. When your number is up, your number is up. Early grave is like premature ejaculation, they are both bullshit. You might be able to hold them of for a while, but you arent going to be able to stop them.
So spare me all of your fear mongering bullshit. Stop trying to sell me on the idea that Four loco is the sole cause of college kids being fucking idiots. And stop pretending that the world was this fucking utopia before the arrival of the demon lord alcohol. Now somebody bring me a Jack and Coke every 10 minutes until I no longer feel the need to stab someone in the neck.