draven7794

In the greatest news story I have ever heard, a car full of people who were dressed like zombies, crashed in Portland Oregon. No one was injured except the cops and paramedics who probably shit their pants when they arrived on scene

What Part of "My Day Off" Went Over Your Fucking Head?

There are no more magical words in the human language than "My Day Off". Its different for everyone, but everybody treasures them equally. Some people like to travel, some people like to party. I want to get out of bed about noon, maybe spend most of the day reading comics. Do you know what...
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OH TV GODS, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME???

Yesterday, My girldriend Sarah was watching TV. She and her Mom were watching Bridzillas, a show that makes me hate the human race as a whole. But they usually watch this show, so I have grown somewhat numb to it. But after it was over, there was a show called "Raising Sextuplets". Its about a closeted gay...
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I hope everyone has a happy and safe 4th of July. Any holiday that involves friends family and an over abundance of food has my name all over it. :-)

Last night was one of those nights where I was watching completely mindless television before bed. This time, it was Holly's World on E! . In this episode (or at least in the first 2 minutes, because I couldnt stomach anymore) Holly was asked to be the Auctioneer at a bachelorette auction to benefit a Nevada organization that benefits the homeless. She asked her roomate,...
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I just watched the latest episode of True Blood and I think its safe to say that was the most twisted ending that I have ever seen

Have you ever been so tired that you cant sleep? You just keep staring at the TV and think "wow, I wish I could fall asleep because this show sucks"

Have you ever been friends with someone for a decent amount of time, then during a pretty normal conversation something is said that makes you realize "Wow, this person is a fucking moron"

Ill explain.....

My birthday was last week. Now I dont normally make a big deal out of my birthday because over the course of the last 15 years, my birthdays tend to...
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Went to see the A-Team movie last night. It was awesome, but outside the theater was this giant stand up for the Karate Kid movie. Just to remind me that Karate Kid made more money than A-Team this weekend. Fuck you Jackie Chan

Last night, I had a 45 minute conversation with a friend's 4 year old little boy. Some of the highlights included why Megatron was cooler than Starscream, and how Sugar Bear would beat the Trix Rabbit in an MMA fight by first round Tapout.

COOLEST KID EVER!!!!!

If youre normal, the group will accept you. If youre deranged, the groups will nake you its leader

Do you think Quentin Tarrentino ever asked John Travolta,"Hey, remember that time that your career was dead until I put you in my movie?"