dragonflye

I've really been doing some self analysis these past few days. Other peoples actions and things others have been talking about in their blogs have really made me think about my past, where i have been, where i am now, and where i want to be headed. I think for about the past 6 months I have been blindly stumbling around confusing what i needed for something else.

My sexuality plays a big role in my life, and fulfilling it has almost become an obsession. I think I have caused my husband to have a bit of a complex about it, feeling inadequate as a man because i need more than that. I didn;t even realise it was happening, i thought he was just being supportive, but it seems he was on the backfoot, just trying to make me happy.

As many of you know i work long hours with not much time off. Taking into account my obsession with finding girls to shag, and taking into account my lack of time to meet people, and the remoteness of my location, too often i tried to combine these two.

Anyone who was to get involved like that with me wouldnt realise that i was investing almost ALL of my spare time in them, to them it would have only been 2 days a fortnight, the other 12 days/evenings they were hanging out with other people. It's not a jealousy thing, its just how it works out.

Up untill recently i generally had more than one girl on the go though. She was the last one, and since we aren't going there anymore i think i am more crushed because of that. Seems more like my last friend has gone, and no matter how hard you try, because theres been something more in the past, it can never feel right to wind it all back to just social. I guess it will always feel like there is unfinnished business.

So my belated new years resolution, I am going to be concentrating on making sure my man feels adequate, and together we are going to focus on getting into a social network of people who we DON'T have sex with.

We have also decided that we need to move on from our current employment, the hours just really dont suit us, and the lack of flexibility is really starting to get to me. I asked to change our days off to fall on days like the SG bbq, and the vampire party, and always get shot down by the boss. For our own sense of satisfaction and acheivement we will be here till probably september so we can finnish what we started here with an intenisve breeding program etc. I won't go into too much detail with that, arms up cows butts aren't for everyone This will most likely include us getting accom and jobs closer to town with more normal hours.

So pretty much untill then, you probably still wont see much of me, partially due to work commitments, and partially due to politics, but we will see how we go.

Untill then i will be on here blogging so keep talking!

EDIT----
if said person is upset then they should say something themselves, otherwise i am not ashamed of where i have been and what i have done. I am not one for sneaking around and keeping secrets. Everyone all knew anyway, so why is it such a big deal? And it was only a very common first name, not a link to their profile or anything. Only people who already knew would know who i was talking about!