Mondays at Taboo are usually pretty much the same. We dress naughty...shitty dudes come in and drool...sometimes dropping some sort of a 'compliment' before they depart to go home and wack it, not to the Tranny-Gangbang DVD they just rented, but to us.....well today......was more interesting.
I come in at 1:00pm, change into my little lacey black slip, hot pink boyshort undies, and black vinyl platform boots. There's a few dudes in the store. Everythings relatively chill. My co-worker leaves, I check out one dude, one other dude leaves...one dude is left. I can sense he's a little 'off'....
He brings up his purple and blue velvety G-String to purchase. Put's it down on the counter and begins to explain to me how he a. likes my outfit, b. is only wearing one more article of clothing than i am, c. likes to wear as little as possible, d. plans on wearing his purple and blue velvety G-String to wash his car in, e. is wearing velcro running shorts. He then undoes the velcro at his hip on one side. He is turned so that I can almost see his jank.
I immediately know to get him the hell out of here as soon as possible before this goes south. I ring him up, do not humor his jabs at wearing hardly anything at all during nice spring days like this. Give him his change, tell him thank you, and send him on his merry way.
I make myself immediately busy with something else at the counter so he doesn't feel he has the opportunity to talk further. He walks away, says thank you, then stops in the front room. He looks back at me to see if I'm watching him. I am, out of the corner of my eye though...so he doesn't think I am. He puts down his bag on the floor, unvelcro's his shorts, lets them fall to the floor, and steps back just far enough to hide his body behind a rack of vinyl pants. I can see his head above the rack though, and he stands there. For a moment. A moment and a half. Two moments.
I'm stunned. He stands there in front of a giant open window exposing himself to the Audio Express guys across the street, and any cars happening to drive by at the time. He then lunges forward to pick up his shorts off the floor, at which point I see his wang hanging out from beneath his tshirt. Still pretending to look busy. He puts his shorts back on slowly, and turns to me and says, "Man...Guess it helps if they stay on huh?" I say, "Yes. It does." Pretending not to know what he's done, for I do not want him trying to get any more attention out of me or anyone else. He picks up his bag and walks out the door.
I run to the front window, write down his approximate height, age, features, make and color of his truck, and wait for him to pull away from the building to write down his license number. I do, and I double check. I call the cops, report his naked flashing ass. And wait.
About a half hour later, a cop shows up. Says either I must have gotten the license number wrong, or he's done something to alter it, because the number doesn't run. He takes my record of the event, and as I start describing the perp to the cop, he goes, "Wait a minute...does this guy look like he's in pretty good shape? Is he tanned? Does he have a mustache?"
Yes. Yes. And yes.
Cop says, "I think I know this guy, but I can't remember this name for the life of me." Cop goes on to explain that he think's it's the same guy who used to work out at the same gym as him....apparently, if it is the same dude...this guy used to be an Anesthesiologist in the area, but was taking his own prescriptions instead of giving them to his patients. Well....one of his patients died because of him, and dude went to jail for it. There was even a 20/20 TV special on the dude. Well, since, the dude's been released, and has been hanging at the local bagel shop creeping out the female employees by talking about raping women.
Cop says, dude is off his fucking rocker. Cop is going to try and track down his name from the gym, and in the meantime, we here at Taboo just have to wait for him to come back in to get his 'real' license plate.
How fuckin' cooky is that? Who wants to come and be the bodyguard for the ladies of Taboo?
I come in at 1:00pm, change into my little lacey black slip, hot pink boyshort undies, and black vinyl platform boots. There's a few dudes in the store. Everythings relatively chill. My co-worker leaves, I check out one dude, one other dude leaves...one dude is left. I can sense he's a little 'off'....
He brings up his purple and blue velvety G-String to purchase. Put's it down on the counter and begins to explain to me how he a. likes my outfit, b. is only wearing one more article of clothing than i am, c. likes to wear as little as possible, d. plans on wearing his purple and blue velvety G-String to wash his car in, e. is wearing velcro running shorts. He then undoes the velcro at his hip on one side. He is turned so that I can almost see his jank.
I immediately know to get him the hell out of here as soon as possible before this goes south. I ring him up, do not humor his jabs at wearing hardly anything at all during nice spring days like this. Give him his change, tell him thank you, and send him on his merry way.
I make myself immediately busy with something else at the counter so he doesn't feel he has the opportunity to talk further. He walks away, says thank you, then stops in the front room. He looks back at me to see if I'm watching him. I am, out of the corner of my eye though...so he doesn't think I am. He puts down his bag on the floor, unvelcro's his shorts, lets them fall to the floor, and steps back just far enough to hide his body behind a rack of vinyl pants. I can see his head above the rack though, and he stands there. For a moment. A moment and a half. Two moments.
I'm stunned. He stands there in front of a giant open window exposing himself to the Audio Express guys across the street, and any cars happening to drive by at the time. He then lunges forward to pick up his shorts off the floor, at which point I see his wang hanging out from beneath his tshirt. Still pretending to look busy. He puts his shorts back on slowly, and turns to me and says, "Man...Guess it helps if they stay on huh?" I say, "Yes. It does." Pretending not to know what he's done, for I do not want him trying to get any more attention out of me or anyone else. He picks up his bag and walks out the door.
I run to the front window, write down his approximate height, age, features, make and color of his truck, and wait for him to pull away from the building to write down his license number. I do, and I double check. I call the cops, report his naked flashing ass. And wait.
About a half hour later, a cop shows up. Says either I must have gotten the license number wrong, or he's done something to alter it, because the number doesn't run. He takes my record of the event, and as I start describing the perp to the cop, he goes, "Wait a minute...does this guy look like he's in pretty good shape? Is he tanned? Does he have a mustache?"
Yes. Yes. And yes.
Cop says, "I think I know this guy, but I can't remember this name for the life of me." Cop goes on to explain that he think's it's the same guy who used to work out at the same gym as him....apparently, if it is the same dude...this guy used to be an Anesthesiologist in the area, but was taking his own prescriptions instead of giving them to his patients. Well....one of his patients died because of him, and dude went to jail for it. There was even a 20/20 TV special on the dude. Well, since, the dude's been released, and has been hanging at the local bagel shop creeping out the female employees by talking about raping women.
Cop says, dude is off his fucking rocker. Cop is going to try and track down his name from the gym, and in the meantime, we here at Taboo just have to wait for him to come back in to get his 'real' license plate.
How fuckin' cooky is that? Who wants to come and be the bodyguard for the ladies of Taboo?
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
puresauciness:
I have posted pics in my journal. Check em out!
twilightmaiden:
That's crazier then the naked lady I saw running down Broad St. when I first moved here.