draftsman

My web-browser eat my blog.

I have spent the last hour with writer block in front of the computer trying to write , but it has not gone well and my browser just acted up and erased all the stuff that I had written. So now for honesty and rambling before I gets distracted by watching BSG on Netflix.

I spent that better part of last year in a tough project that taxed me mentally, physically and in my morale. I felt stressed out , with no time , and out of shape for the better part of last year. I was really hurt and now in the last two months I have finally being able to work out , hang out with my friends and even start to think about developing a social life once again.
I had lunch with a friend of mine this past weekend , I could not make it to his birthday celebration so we has lunch last Sunday. We talked about where we are in our lives , jobs, money and what we wanted to do in the future. In many ways it was a good conversation and I hope that my friend got something out of it . I will tell you about his story later when I can make better sense of it myself.

Then Monday morning at 2:00 a.m. I woke up and rushed to the rest room , I puked and proceeded to rinse my mouth and settle myself , get some water and then went back to bed. Then I started the procedure all over again. I only spent two hours at work and then went home sick.

I proceeded to spent the better part of the day resting , drinking plenty of fluids and watching/passing out in front of the Television. Then I also spent the rest of the week in a debilitated state. one of the things that I hate about being sick is that I get emotionally down or a little depressed.

I was driving home on Wednesday after a very unproductive and long day. I was feeling down, tired and felt down about my life. I had lunch with my friend of Saturday , but after recounting the events of last year. I felt a bit down about my life, the few savings I have and the lack of social contact I have had. I felt like a loser,

However with that realization , I felt okay and calm. I had this very strange feeling that things could get better from here. I felt that I was not chasing goals that would make me repeat the stresses of the year before. I felt strangely relaxed and hopeful. Maybe it was the fact that I was getting better better physically or the flu medication was making me feel woozy.

But now I am determined to get in better shape, to take care of my health , not stress and to see my friends more this year.

Being a Loser does not make you less of a fighter as proved by Rocky,
Being a Loser does not make you less of an artist as proved by Vincent van Gogh
Being a Loser does not make you less of a writer as proved by the Frustrated novelist Stan Lee
Being a Loser does not make you less creative or happy sometimes.

Now I have to figure out how I can be the best loser than I can be.

There is a great graphic novel called the new frontier , They have a section of the book with a world war 2 army teamed called " The Losers".

I loved the quote from the account of their final mission.

Johnny Cloud: "Ask my family and they'll tell you I was a Navajo. Ask the Army Air Force and they'll say I was an American. But if you ask my brothers, they'll set you straight. John Cloud was a Loser."