This is totally messed up in so many levels.

I feel like Pete Campbell on Mad Men or at least I see my life in the same way at this point. I am a well intended person that has the tools to make things work and do well. Then I make an effort and manage to fuck it up nine ways from Sunday. It has been mostly through laziness and complacency. Now I have made one of the biggest and I think most telling sign of laziness. I have to withdraw from the fall semester , because I have not been able to do the schoolwork after working.

The tough part is that work has been good. It has been a lot of it and sometimes more than I bargained for , but it has been good. I am doing what I was waiting to do while I was unemployed. It is just that at the end of the day I had no energy and could not find it in me to crack the books. So I have to withdraw from the semester. It fucking hurts and it feels worse than getting my butt kicked in a fight which has happened plenty of times. Now I could argue that I did not pick the best of classes and that I was injured and unaware of the amount of time and effort that it would take to recover and heal from my injury.


Well I am off to bed. I am going to write here more often hopefully it will be stuff that is more positive and hopeful. Has anyone hit walls lately ? how do you regain your focus and get better at what you are doing ? Do any of your guys have any advice?

Well I wish you guys the best and I hope to update you as to first world complaining.