dr_zoidberg

I have had suicidal thoughts for most of my life, but the time I actually seriously considered it happened about three months ago. Picture a great day, where the sun is out, its all cheery, and you just found out that your parents were going to kick you out of your house. It all started when my mother and me were at the bank taking out some money for books. I asked her about a shortage in my account, and she replied that some pizza that she bought for me and my friend about a month prior to this day was actually taken out of my money. I was justifiably mad that she would get into my money without asking me, and she got pissed at me for being "stingy." I would have been fine with it if she had told me what she was doing, as I had assumed that she would have paid for it herself, like always. After she took me home so I could get some work done, my father and her had a conversation about how I should find a new place to live. After about an hour, she comes home and proceeds to tell me the "good news." This sets me into a spiral that ended up with me cutting several deep gashes in my arm. Nothing suicidal there, but I just felt like doing it. Over the next few days, I researched ways to commit suicide over the internet. I never went through with a specific plan, but I was seriously considering it. My parents finally found about the gashes, and made me an appointment with our family doctor. He put me on a common antidepressant, Prozac, and told my parents to take it easy on me. So here I am, three months later, and I am doing much better. Ive only cut myself a few times more after that on my upper arm where my parents cant see it. Now I will tell you the ironic thing about this whole thing: My parents were seeing how I would react to a pressure they put on me. As far as they are concerned, I am fucking crazy. I will never forgive them for the panic attacks that I continue to have to this very day, and the pills that I am cursed to take on a daily basis. Here is my story, I hope it helps somebody. Thank you for taking the time to let me vent.