So I'm between job interviews and having lunch with my dad and for the umpteenth time he advises me to move back home. He still doesn't quite understand how I could be living with a female and not be sleeping with her.
I told him that I'm not ruled by my hormones and that my roomies such a shrew the sex would be horrible. He laughed and asked when I would move out into my own apartment and as tempting as that would be, I signed a year lease. The fact is if I move out, my roommate would have to move out as well since there is no way she can swing the rent all by herself and there's no way anyone would live with her moody, anti-social ass.
Enough bad mouthing my roommate, on to awesome announcements.
I am this close to getting a new job at a warehouse. The lady
I interviewed with said that she just needed to check my references, do a background check and pass a drug test. I know that my references will give me a glowing reccomendation and since they never found the bodies, I'm in the clear (so kidding, if any of my future employers are members and have the good sense to bookmark me) A trip to the Unique Boutique for a detox drink will guarantee that I pass, but just in case I'll start drinking water now, since it will probably take a week before they ask me to submit to one. My friend Kaewan told me that I should drink vinegar water or pickle juice as well, but I think I'll stick to the detox drinks
(again, if any potential employers are reading this, it was that one time at them party and for medical reasons only)
My other potential job doesn't require a test, but it pays less and doesn't offer benefits so I'm hoping for the other one.
I managed to get my first video blog posted. it's over at BlogMatrix and if I get around to it I'll post a link on my site.
My friend Darnell Wilburn made a cartoon likeness of me which I'm thinking of putting up as my profile pic, I just have to find it and scan it in. He's a super talented artist and you can see more if his work here.
Flopcat was on my lap reading this and suddenly jumped down when I finished typing that last sentence. I knew that I shouldn't have left the television on PBS, now the cat can apparently read. Damn you Sesame Street!!!
And finally to satsfy my quota for morally outraged inspired rants, this message goes out to whichever young lady flying out of the Greater Cincinnati International Airport yesterday and thought that the underground tunnel separating terminal three from the two concourses was the ideal place to leave their thong underwear, read carefully:
THAT WAS TRIFLING AND WE HAVE YOU ON VIDEOTAPE, YOU SLUTTY SKANK!!!
I am by no means a prude, and heaven knows that under any other circumstance I would not discourage any woman from removing her underwear, in fact I would normally enthusiastically encourage such happenings.
I actually had to radio to send someone to retrieve them and that was just embarassing for everyone involve. I also didn't like the fact that later the guy we sent retrieve and dispose of them tried to add them to our poker game pot. I actually had to fold trip sevens just to avoid winning them.
The least you could have done was put them in a trash can you skank. What if some kid had found them? It wasn't sexy or cute, it was trifling and I pray that you were really drunk when he talked you into it. If you're going to fool around at the airport, be decent enough to restrict it to the handicap bathroom like everyone else. Honestly, would it have taken that much more time to go into the bathroom?
I applaud your enthusiasm take it from an experienced member, if you're going to try to join the mile high club at least show some class and remove your thong in the ladies room, supply closet, dressing room in one of the many overpriced shops, or in a pinch, sitting at a table in the food court (ew... maybe not there, people have to eat there). I am disgusted by your behavior and saddened for the human race in general.
that is all.
I told him that I'm not ruled by my hormones and that my roomies such a shrew the sex would be horrible. He laughed and asked when I would move out into my own apartment and as tempting as that would be, I signed a year lease. The fact is if I move out, my roommate would have to move out as well since there is no way she can swing the rent all by herself and there's no way anyone would live with her moody, anti-social ass.
Enough bad mouthing my roommate, on to awesome announcements.
I am this close to getting a new job at a warehouse. The lady
I interviewed with said that she just needed to check my references, do a background check and pass a drug test. I know that my references will give me a glowing reccomendation and since they never found the bodies, I'm in the clear (so kidding, if any of my future employers are members and have the good sense to bookmark me) A trip to the Unique Boutique for a detox drink will guarantee that I pass, but just in case I'll start drinking water now, since it will probably take a week before they ask me to submit to one. My friend Kaewan told me that I should drink vinegar water or pickle juice as well, but I think I'll stick to the detox drinks
(again, if any potential employers are reading this, it was that one time at them party and for medical reasons only)
My other potential job doesn't require a test, but it pays less and doesn't offer benefits so I'm hoping for the other one.
I managed to get my first video blog posted. it's over at BlogMatrix and if I get around to it I'll post a link on my site.
My friend Darnell Wilburn made a cartoon likeness of me which I'm thinking of putting up as my profile pic, I just have to find it and scan it in. He's a super talented artist and you can see more if his work here.
Flopcat was on my lap reading this and suddenly jumped down when I finished typing that last sentence. I knew that I shouldn't have left the television on PBS, now the cat can apparently read. Damn you Sesame Street!!!
And finally to satsfy my quota for morally outraged inspired rants, this message goes out to whichever young lady flying out of the Greater Cincinnati International Airport yesterday and thought that the underground tunnel separating terminal three from the two concourses was the ideal place to leave their thong underwear, read carefully:
THAT WAS TRIFLING AND WE HAVE YOU ON VIDEOTAPE, YOU SLUTTY SKANK!!!
I am by no means a prude, and heaven knows that under any other circumstance I would not discourage any woman from removing her underwear, in fact I would normally enthusiastically encourage such happenings.
I actually had to radio to send someone to retrieve them and that was just embarassing for everyone involve. I also didn't like the fact that later the guy we sent retrieve and dispose of them tried to add them to our poker game pot. I actually had to fold trip sevens just to avoid winning them.
The least you could have done was put them in a trash can you skank. What if some kid had found them? It wasn't sexy or cute, it was trifling and I pray that you were really drunk when he talked you into it. If you're going to fool around at the airport, be decent enough to restrict it to the handicap bathroom like everyone else. Honestly, would it have taken that much more time to go into the bathroom?
I applaud your enthusiasm take it from an experienced member, if you're going to try to join the mile high club at least show some class and remove your thong in the ladies room, supply closet, dressing room in one of the many overpriced shops, or in a pinch, sitting at a table in the food court (ew... maybe not there, people have to eat there). I am disgusted by your behavior and saddened for the human race in general.
that is all.