dr_pwnage

Got this little bastard pulled this morning:











yeahhh...wisdom tooth cracked and broke a few days ago, I spit out a few little pieces of tooth and then it started bleeding, I have been swallowing blood for the last couple of days, blood when I brush my teeth, everything. HAD to get this taken care of.

I wanted to keep the tooth; I am going to put it in a little bottle in some alcohol or something and keep it on my desk, just in case I need the DNA for cloning or tissue regeneration after the nuclear holocaust mutates everyone on the planet into freaks. Since I am already a freak, I figure I have a leg up on the competition, but I don't want to stray too far over to the mutant side, so I have to keep this near me. I call it "my little insurance policy."

Yep, me and the roaches. We will be laughing while the rest of you grow three eyes, lose your spinal column, and roll around in the dirt fighting over the last few cans of peaches in heavy syrup on the planet. I will be worshipped as a deity and I will have 'minions.' I figure that 'minions' are better than 'henchmen.'

Never had a tooth pulled before. I was in and out in like 20 minutes.

Of course, you know what the best part is...

VICODIN

16 of them. I am wondering...do I have them now, or save them for when I have no pain? No sense in wasting them when I can't reeeally enjoy them. I think I will save them. If I play my cards right, I think I may be able to get another prescription after this.

I am stockpiling little pills. I have about 200 Ambien 10 mg in reserve. They really don't help me get to sleep and I take like four at a time, only supposed to need one. This insomnia is ridiculous anymore. I think I need to go to my other doctor, the ghetto one, and get something serious for sleep. I think he would just give me whatever I asked him for so I won't turn him in for being in the Taliban...this is Florida, after all. They turn up here like every other week.

Time to change the bloody cotton in my mouth

To tell the truth, it really doesn't hurt at all, despite the fact that I am bleeding like a stuck pig on her menstrual cycle. Tyler Durden says you can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick, so I figure I am okay. The little Dominican hygenist gave me about 23 bales of cotton, so I should be set.

Problem is, I can't eat anything spicy or drink anything acidic. That REALLY FUCKING SUCKS because I practically live on buffalo wings, jalapenos, and grapefruit juice.

I can't get enough grapefruit juice. I don't know wtf that is all about. I drink like 3-4 gallons a week. I think the people at Publix are starting to whisper behind my back; I may have to find an independent supplier. I never wanted it to become a habit, but I blame the government for not properly informing me about the dangers of grapefruit juice addiction...the paranoia, excessively yellow pee, the vitamin C flush...we should tax it more stringently. Won't SOMEBODY think of the children, for the love of God?

This sucks; finally I have an excuse to lay around and I got no lovin'.

SHE would have loved to share this Vicodin.

So yeah...need some lovin'. Or maybe just to be kicked around a little bit. I am thinking that the little Russian girl I met may be a lot less innocent than she appears.

I'm going to go lay down, but I have to be cautious that I don't asphyxiate myself with bloody cotton. I am going to pass out with hunger, but I can't eat for a couple of hours. Too bad all I will be able to have is a frickin' protien shake.