Insomnia, insomnia.
Ever since I was a kid, I haven't been able to sleep. I have seen doctors, changed diets, exercised, destressed, detoxed, worn myself out, thied screwing until too tired to stay awake, drinking until I pass out, and prescription pills.
Nothing works. Nothing. No sleep last night, 2 hours the night before, and yet, this is typical for the insomnia week.
The insomnia week. Every month, like clockwork. Like a menstrual cycle. Every month I go through a week where sleep comes not at all; fitfully at best. There is no explaination! I don't eat sugar and don't have caffiene, have nobody and nothing here to keep me awake, I am comfortable, secure, no worries, and yet I cannot get any rest.
Oddly enough, it doesn't appear to affect me externally, although I know about it in my head and have to try a little harder than usual to stay alert. When it DOES become apparent that I am not getting enough sleep, usually after 3 days with zero sleep (as in 2 nights...the 3rd day is murder), I look like death warmed over and stuck under a heat lamp for later consumption.
But today, also, I am run down. I have been fasting a little bit to help me spiritually and I also got a cold the other day. Thought it was gone, but the throat is getting sore today, and I can feel the mucous buildup in there. No fever, nose not runny, just a sore throat and a light head.
I tried smoking this morning, got about 1/3 way through a cig and knew it was a bad idea. No more, at least until tomorrow. Not going out for anything, even if the little Peruvian girls call me. I must be well. I must sleep. I must stay focused.
Next week is the Big Flippin' Music Festival. It will be a party, and if I am not out of my mind I will be sorely vexed. The time is ripe.
Although, I did see an opossum in my yard Thursday night, and Carmela (my friend from work, very spiritual) told me about the Opossum's significance in the totem and that Mercury is 'in rising' until April 12, which means that there is going to be chaos.
I feel it in my very marrow...something is going to go down. I don't know when, and I don't know who, but I do know that something will happen this month that will change my life.
I hate the little psychic twinge I get. Maybe it is brought on by the insomnia. It could be a blessing, if I would just listen, but I haven't learned how yet. Maybe some E would help, but I haven't done that in months, and I really want to not do it until a special occasion when I have the chance to do it with somebody I trust again.
SOMETHING has got to be able to put me down tonight.
I really wanted to go out, too, but I just can't.
*****
It is a shame I can only pick 5 favorite SGs. I have to keep changing them out. I would put up there like 20. Also, not enough favorite SG pics space...
*****
I gave up on underwear a few weeks ago. I got down to a 30 inch waist, I was a 29 when I graduated from high school. With the new jeans, the boxers just are too uncomfortable, and whiteys are not acceptable. I like it. Well, it doesn't hurt that I have a denim fetish, but it's much better without underwear.
*****
It is most unfortunate that I haven't done anything important in the last few days, because I feel like writing things here, but I got jack. I got excited last night watching Tech TV in a segment about building a 1 Terabyte RAID-5 array. I want to do that. Ooh I'll post pics
"Oh yeah my little sexy SATA server"
I mean, the only thing I have to do today is decide between pepperoni and cajun sausage for lunch. Hell, I don't even have to shave. Sorry so unexciting right now.
Like a midget at a urinal, I need to stay on my toes.
Hi everyone
Ever since I was a kid, I haven't been able to sleep. I have seen doctors, changed diets, exercised, destressed, detoxed, worn myself out, thied screwing until too tired to stay awake, drinking until I pass out, and prescription pills.
Nothing works. Nothing. No sleep last night, 2 hours the night before, and yet, this is typical for the insomnia week.
The insomnia week. Every month, like clockwork. Like a menstrual cycle. Every month I go through a week where sleep comes not at all; fitfully at best. There is no explaination! I don't eat sugar and don't have caffiene, have nobody and nothing here to keep me awake, I am comfortable, secure, no worries, and yet I cannot get any rest.
Oddly enough, it doesn't appear to affect me externally, although I know about it in my head and have to try a little harder than usual to stay alert. When it DOES become apparent that I am not getting enough sleep, usually after 3 days with zero sleep (as in 2 nights...the 3rd day is murder), I look like death warmed over and stuck under a heat lamp for later consumption.
But today, also, I am run down. I have been fasting a little bit to help me spiritually and I also got a cold the other day. Thought it was gone, but the throat is getting sore today, and I can feel the mucous buildup in there. No fever, nose not runny, just a sore throat and a light head.
I tried smoking this morning, got about 1/3 way through a cig and knew it was a bad idea. No more, at least until tomorrow. Not going out for anything, even if the little Peruvian girls call me. I must be well. I must sleep. I must stay focused.
Next week is the Big Flippin' Music Festival. It will be a party, and if I am not out of my mind I will be sorely vexed. The time is ripe.
Although, I did see an opossum in my yard Thursday night, and Carmela (my friend from work, very spiritual) told me about the Opossum's significance in the totem and that Mercury is 'in rising' until April 12, which means that there is going to be chaos.
I feel it in my very marrow...something is going to go down. I don't know when, and I don't know who, but I do know that something will happen this month that will change my life.
I hate the little psychic twinge I get. Maybe it is brought on by the insomnia. It could be a blessing, if I would just listen, but I haven't learned how yet. Maybe some E would help, but I haven't done that in months, and I really want to not do it until a special occasion when I have the chance to do it with somebody I trust again.
SOMETHING has got to be able to put me down tonight.
I really wanted to go out, too, but I just can't.
*****
It is a shame I can only pick 5 favorite SGs. I have to keep changing them out. I would put up there like 20. Also, not enough favorite SG pics space...
*****
I gave up on underwear a few weeks ago. I got down to a 30 inch waist, I was a 29 when I graduated from high school. With the new jeans, the boxers just are too uncomfortable, and whiteys are not acceptable. I like it. Well, it doesn't hurt that I have a denim fetish, but it's much better without underwear.
*****
It is most unfortunate that I haven't done anything important in the last few days, because I feel like writing things here, but I got jack. I got excited last night watching Tech TV in a segment about building a 1 Terabyte RAID-5 array. I want to do that. Ooh I'll post pics
"Oh yeah my little sexy SATA server"
I mean, the only thing I have to do today is decide between pepperoni and cajun sausage for lunch. Hell, I don't even have to shave. Sorry so unexciting right now.
Like a midget at a urinal, I need to stay on my toes.
Hi everyone
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
I have a problem with sleeping, well not exactly sleeping,b ut I don't dream, people say that is impossible but since I was little I've had horrible migraines, the doctors could never figure out what was the matter with me till they did a sleep study on me and found that I only have REM sleep 10% of a normal person.....so they put me on Midrin and that seems to help.......I hate the fact that the human body needs sleep to survive...
lol that's the best quote i've heard yet!
u going to ultra? i can't decide! not sure if i wanna roll on ectasy all day or not!
hmmmmm