I just found out today that one of my very best friends got beaten up by her husband.

Those who know me on any kind of a personal level know that I have problems having friendships with men, mostly because of the way they treat women. Equally frustrating to me is that the women that I love remain in these abusive relationships.

At least this friend of mine is able to act for herself...she put him in jail, got the restraining order, the whole deal. In that respect, I am proud of her.

He accused her of cheating on him because of a message she got on Facebook from a friend from FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL. She is my age, 38. Keep in mind that the entire time that she has been married (7 years I think) she never went out without her husband except for 2 times...both of those times she met me, for lunch.

It makes me think, though, about men and the way they act...the jealousy, the violence, the possessiveness. I really don't like it, at all. After living in Miami for a while, all of these observances that I made about men and their behavior towards women got more and more ridiculous. Men are horrible.

I do not date. This isn't because I don't crave a relationship (I do, in some ways), but because I have a very unhealthy view of the way relationships work out. First, I haven't exactly made smart choices in the women I have dated in the past, and second, all of my very close relationships with my women friends involve me hearing about their relationships and the stupid shit their boyfriends and husbands do.

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to white knight for women, because they do really retarded things, and often think with their vagina the same way that men think with their dicks. However, I don't think I know any women that would beat up their husband or boyfriend, or rape them, or anything like that. I do, however, find myself becoming more and more estranged from the world of men. I know far too many stories and secrets of my female friends. When I walk down the street, I see men, and I wonder who they are going to beat up or try to sleep with, or take advantage of.

When I get done with law school, if I work family law, I will do my best for women who have been in this situation. I do not ever advocate violence or revenge, but some people do need to be protected by the law.

I could never do this...I could never be violent. I can't do it. Sometimes...well, a lot of times, really, I do not like the fact that I am a man. I am not really ashamed of anything that I have done in any relationship I have ever had, but I just can't not feel guilty because other men do the stupid and violent things they do.

I know too many women who have had to deal with this kind of abuse. I really don't know whether it is just so common that it happens to all women, or if it just happens to be the women I know, but, damn...I am so sorry.

I don't know what to say. I am just going to be the best man I can be, and even though I am seriously flawed, I will never hurt another human being, or deal with them with deceit, violence, or coercion.