So, no comments about the paper shredder, eh?
I guess it didn't strike a chord in anybody's consciousness. Hopefully it is a temporary obsession. It is great, I swear.
But in any case...have you ever had an epiphany? A moment where you totally step outside of yourself, let go of ego, and see things the way they REALLY are in your life? I had one of those last night.
I was bored, so I called up my friend Juliette. We both got out of relationships at about the same time and have known each other for a few years, so we have gotten really close (as friends). That's all I want, too. Just friends.
She didn't answer. I didn't leave a message, figuring that she went out or something, but I had a thought after I hung up.
She is the ONLY friend I have left who isn't long distance. I moved 30 minutes away, and a bunch of my other friends moved, and I lost some friends who had big mouths, and, so, that's it. It's just Juliette.
It made me realize two things: 1) It's nice to have a close friend again, someone I can trust; and 2) I need more friends.
I don't know really yet what kind of friend she is. Like, if we are going to be lifelong friends, or if we are just going to be as close as we are for now and then just fall out of each others' lives. I don't know which would be better!
Sometimes, a friend for the moment is best. It's comfortable, but you aren't risking anything. See, she knows all about my last relationship and about me personally, but not too much about my life. Also, I'm the guy she calls crying when she's lonely.
But I'm not THAT guy. I made a decision months ago that I will not pursue her because of our situations. I'm not feeling it anyway. If I did, I'd let her know, but as it stands she's just a good friend.
But how much can you rely on just one person? Can you rely on anybody at all, anyway? I mean, at what point do you draw the line?
I thought that this was all shit you figured out in high school. Either that's not true, or I am just socially retarded. Maybe it's both.
More friends...Miami is a tough town for that. Specifically over here in the Gables. South Beach isn't my scene, clubs really aren't my scene. I'm thinking about joining a singles group. That would be best...not looking for a girlfriend, just, you know, other people.
I stay at home a lot. I can work from home. I haven't had a drink in months (diet). It's tough to meet people...plus, all the other people I know here just do a lot of drugs ALL THE TIME, and it's a little heavy for me. I open up WAY too much on drugs, haha. Need to keep that to myself.
Which reminds me; my rolling buddy just got a boyfriend, so that's on hold too. Awesome for her; she is a great girl. Love her to death...if she didn't have 2 kids, we would be together. Dated for about 3 months...unoficially. It is a DAMN SHAME that I didn't open up to her about my kinky side when we were seeing each other! I told her about me about a year ago and we have had fun, so I will miss rolling with her, but that's all it is...friends and fun. I can give up the fun to keep a friend.
Juliette invited me over tonight when we were talking on the phone at 10:30. She was in her pajamas already. What a tease...I would have gone, but I had a feeling about the traffic tonight, like a premonition that it wouldn't be a good idea to drive (drunk psychos), plus I really don't want to sleep on a couch.
Sleep? What's that? I can't sleep...I'm rolling...BY MYSELF
Now, that's just silly. Rolling, alone, and posting on the internet. I am sure by now you are reading and thinking to yourself that I am an emo asshole. I can assure you that I am. I am so emo that my emo hurts.
But, I am a 34 year old metrosexual cool emo; and I'm not afraid to be classified anymore. Trust me, I have my individuality. Classify me however you want. I'm coming out on top again, baby!
By the way, I love all of you. And, that's really from me...not the pills. I read just about everybody on my friends list's journals. I'd comment more, but sometimes it's better just to read and comprehend, rather than give feedback. I will give encouragement and advice when it is asked for (not that anybody would specifically ask me, lol), but many times I know that you just want what you wrote to be read. I do read, and I think all of you are special
What a nice guy, huh? I am probably going to laugh at this tomorrow, but it will be a good laugh.
'Night ladies.
I guess it didn't strike a chord in anybody's consciousness. Hopefully it is a temporary obsession. It is great, I swear.
But in any case...have you ever had an epiphany? A moment where you totally step outside of yourself, let go of ego, and see things the way they REALLY are in your life? I had one of those last night.
I was bored, so I called up my friend Juliette. We both got out of relationships at about the same time and have known each other for a few years, so we have gotten really close (as friends). That's all I want, too. Just friends.
She didn't answer. I didn't leave a message, figuring that she went out or something, but I had a thought after I hung up.
She is the ONLY friend I have left who isn't long distance. I moved 30 minutes away, and a bunch of my other friends moved, and I lost some friends who had big mouths, and, so, that's it. It's just Juliette.
It made me realize two things: 1) It's nice to have a close friend again, someone I can trust; and 2) I need more friends.
I don't know really yet what kind of friend she is. Like, if we are going to be lifelong friends, or if we are just going to be as close as we are for now and then just fall out of each others' lives. I don't know which would be better!
Sometimes, a friend for the moment is best. It's comfortable, but you aren't risking anything. See, she knows all about my last relationship and about me personally, but not too much about my life. Also, I'm the guy she calls crying when she's lonely.
But I'm not THAT guy. I made a decision months ago that I will not pursue her because of our situations. I'm not feeling it anyway. If I did, I'd let her know, but as it stands she's just a good friend.
But how much can you rely on just one person? Can you rely on anybody at all, anyway? I mean, at what point do you draw the line?
I thought that this was all shit you figured out in high school. Either that's not true, or I am just socially retarded. Maybe it's both.
More friends...Miami is a tough town for that. Specifically over here in the Gables. South Beach isn't my scene, clubs really aren't my scene. I'm thinking about joining a singles group. That would be best...not looking for a girlfriend, just, you know, other people.
I stay at home a lot. I can work from home. I haven't had a drink in months (diet). It's tough to meet people...plus, all the other people I know here just do a lot of drugs ALL THE TIME, and it's a little heavy for me. I open up WAY too much on drugs, haha. Need to keep that to myself.
Which reminds me; my rolling buddy just got a boyfriend, so that's on hold too. Awesome for her; she is a great girl. Love her to death...if she didn't have 2 kids, we would be together. Dated for about 3 months...unoficially. It is a DAMN SHAME that I didn't open up to her about my kinky side when we were seeing each other! I told her about me about a year ago and we have had fun, so I will miss rolling with her, but that's all it is...friends and fun. I can give up the fun to keep a friend.
Juliette invited me over tonight when we were talking on the phone at 10:30. She was in her pajamas already. What a tease...I would have gone, but I had a feeling about the traffic tonight, like a premonition that it wouldn't be a good idea to drive (drunk psychos), plus I really don't want to sleep on a couch.
Sleep? What's that? I can't sleep...I'm rolling...BY MYSELF
Now, that's just silly. Rolling, alone, and posting on the internet. I am sure by now you are reading and thinking to yourself that I am an emo asshole. I can assure you that I am. I am so emo that my emo hurts.
But, I am a 34 year old metrosexual cool emo; and I'm not afraid to be classified anymore. Trust me, I have my individuality. Classify me however you want. I'm coming out on top again, baby!
By the way, I love all of you. And, that's really from me...not the pills. I read just about everybody on my friends list's journals. I'd comment more, but sometimes it's better just to read and comprehend, rather than give feedback. I will give encouragement and advice when it is asked for (not that anybody would specifically ask me, lol), but many times I know that you just want what you wrote to be read. I do read, and I think all of you are special
What a nice guy, huh? I am probably going to laugh at this tomorrow, but it will be a good laugh.
'Night ladies.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
About the paper shredder - I totally sympathize! Don't worry, you're not the only out there. I get absolutely obsessed with shredding. I like to let a big pile of documents accumulate and then...
SHRED!!!
SHRED!!!
SHRED!!!
It's very therapeutic. I think it's a genetic thing. My mother loves to use the shredder too. I wonder how I would feel about using a wood chipper. It's sort of like a paper shredder, only much, much bigger! Muahahahaha!!!!
and if you could send me your addy, I will mail your book back to you.