FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
The above linguistic effusion has two distinct meanings in the context of the various things upon which my thoughts have turned at different points in my life.
One point of significance is that it relates to the sort of interpersonal interactions which overwhelmingly dominated my thoughts from the period of my early to mid teens to my mid to late twenties. Not that I don't think in those topics nowadays but there is perhaps more variety to my day to day thought process.
A second point of significance is that this expresses my displeasure at my car's deciding to overheat today. The last day of my ice heaving job. "every day someone regrets not having AAA" as in, djvulcan takes about three hours to drive home from Umass, driving a ways and stopping to let the engine cool, going again. Backbreaking labor, checks earned, car vaporizes checks. A sequence of events that vexes me profoundly. As I was getting cold air out of the heater this would indicate a dead water pump which is gonna run me about 600 dollars or so to fix if I recall correctly from last time. IF I decide to fix it. I could just ride my bike until november or so. Four-wheeled vehicles are for the weak, anyway, right?
One of life's more sinister little paradoxes is that you could afford to buy a new (or newER) car if you hadn't blown so much money trying to keep the old one on the road. My father has a tendency to say "never put money into a junk" which is sound, except that you may have hundreds of dollars available for a repair but not thousands for a new(er) car, and the decision sort of gets made for you.
If I get a halfway well paying job on a timely basis and just ride my bike, just insuring it and not my car, I have a shot at getting a decent car by the time cold weather rolls around again.
I do have enough money to replace the fucking water pump but maybe I'd just rather pinch my pennies and get something less ravaged by entropy.
I have this tendency to think maybe there is a god, based on his apparently hating me. I really hate such coincidences as my car crapping out on the last day of a job, for example. I'm not a drug addict or felon or anything, but I'm not at all successful either, I'm just stuck at point zero. Sometimes I miss being as insanely negative as I used to be. There was a kind of passion in it, albeit a bleak one.
So fuckit. I'll ride my bike, or fix the fucking car. Maybe save up for a new one, give myself a challenge, something at least a little bit enticing to work toward. I hope that a significant percentage of such people as may read this are having better luck with their cars than me.
aleikum salaam
The above linguistic effusion has two distinct meanings in the context of the various things upon which my thoughts have turned at different points in my life.
One point of significance is that it relates to the sort of interpersonal interactions which overwhelmingly dominated my thoughts from the period of my early to mid teens to my mid to late twenties. Not that I don't think in those topics nowadays but there is perhaps more variety to my day to day thought process.
A second point of significance is that this expresses my displeasure at my car's deciding to overheat today. The last day of my ice heaving job. "every day someone regrets not having AAA" as in, djvulcan takes about three hours to drive home from Umass, driving a ways and stopping to let the engine cool, going again. Backbreaking labor, checks earned, car vaporizes checks. A sequence of events that vexes me profoundly. As I was getting cold air out of the heater this would indicate a dead water pump which is gonna run me about 600 dollars or so to fix if I recall correctly from last time. IF I decide to fix it. I could just ride my bike until november or so. Four-wheeled vehicles are for the weak, anyway, right?
One of life's more sinister little paradoxes is that you could afford to buy a new (or newER) car if you hadn't blown so much money trying to keep the old one on the road. My father has a tendency to say "never put money into a junk" which is sound, except that you may have hundreds of dollars available for a repair but not thousands for a new(er) car, and the decision sort of gets made for you.
If I get a halfway well paying job on a timely basis and just ride my bike, just insuring it and not my car, I have a shot at getting a decent car by the time cold weather rolls around again.
I do have enough money to replace the fucking water pump but maybe I'd just rather pinch my pennies and get something less ravaged by entropy.
I have this tendency to think maybe there is a god, based on his apparently hating me. I really hate such coincidences as my car crapping out on the last day of a job, for example. I'm not a drug addict or felon or anything, but I'm not at all successful either, I'm just stuck at point zero. Sometimes I miss being as insanely negative as I used to be. There was a kind of passion in it, albeit a bleak one.
So fuckit. I'll ride my bike, or fix the fucking car. Maybe save up for a new one, give myself a challenge, something at least a little bit enticing to work toward. I hope that a significant percentage of such people as may read this are having better luck with their cars than me.
aleikum salaam
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I haven't developed my paper negatives yet, but I'll let you know how they come out when I do. I didn't regulate my time as much as I should have, so I have no idea if they worked or not. At least I'm pretty sure my film will come out.
I found out about the paper negative process for pinholes from some website old website for kids and science projects. The instructions weren't too fantastic, but I at least got the general idea. I'm not much of a photographer, and I've only taken Basic Photo in college, so my attempts have been rudimentary at best.