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dr_lizardo

NoHo

Member Since 2006

Followers 58 Following 76

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Thursday Apr 27, 2006

Apr 27, 2006
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212 am friday morning. excellent time for an update. Still thursday perhaps, SG time, which is pacific.

1. My cats are not dead. This is good as I rather like my cats but they can be real dumbasses and at least one of them chewed a mouse baitblock that I put out for mice. Maybe I should just let my cats go for mice, but I don't like finding little mouse turds in my silverware drawer so we'll see.

2. this morning when I was all consumed with worry about a job interview I had this afternoon I decided to set down exactly how my worrying is something I willfully inflict on myself, and not something I think I'm falling into out of helplessness. so

I choose to believe that If I get a job I hate I'm stuck there.

I choose to worry that If I dedide to leave a bad job I will be consumed with worry about confronting some judgemental supervisor or other about it.

I choose to shore up my illusion of ego with impermanent posessions.

I choose to believe that I cannot overcome obstacles

I choose to believe that I can never change

I choose to believe that I can never pursue my dreams because money will always get in the way

It's important to be real clear about what you're doing to yourself if you want to stop.

Tomorrow night, tonght, technically, will be the last ice heaving day for yours truly. Planning to apply for a couple of positions. Wonder if the temp agency will have any exciting opportunities.

Hugs to all who have commented on my recent journal entries. A little acknowledgement of my existence is quite nutritious, emotionally.

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