I slapped a very short man today, and then laughed at him. He gave me a look like he was about to hit me back but just walked away. He got up the street a little bit before I ran up behind him and gave him a super Pro-wrestling style clothesline; he hit the ground and laid there like a limp noodle.
Well needless to say this drew a crowd, in a panic (thought the law might be on the way) I yelled at the guy still lying on the ground calling him names and accusing him of trying to pick my pocket. Sure enough he comes the police, I explain how this guy just put his hand in my pocket to get my wallet with his left hand and with his right hand, he grabbed me by the balls.
It all just got written up to self defense and they hauled the guy off, still knocked out and I went home and had a slice of key-lime pie.