I went to a funeral today. I didn't know the guy who was being buried or the family but I needed a place to eat my lunch and it looked peaceful so I pulled in and broke out my pizza. What I noticed was that when the funeral was over everyone was smiling. I couldn't figure out if they were happy as hell that the guy was dead, or that they were just happy the funeral was over. I don't know. I was curious but it would have been rude to ask. Anyway, it was a good place to eat my lunch.
One of my friends recently noticed that I have way more female friends than male friends. There is a reason for this. This is not because I'm attracted to them. It's because I don't really know how to conversate with males, at least not the people I would be around. I have no interest in sitting around and making dick jokes, or fart jokes, in some weird test of manhood. I've tried it on a surface level recently in several situations but I'm no good at it. You'll notice the males I consider really close, there are only five, and only 2 of them live within 100 miles of me, we all share common interests; games, comics, books, films, music, outdoor stuff, and that's most of what we talk about. And I do treasure those male friends more than gold. To be honest I have more female friends because they conversate more and I'm always up for a conversation if you'll just make the time to talk. Unfortunately I find that doesn't happen with males because there is some weird competitions bullshit going on.
Do you remember the first time you were seduced by someone? For me it was high school. I'll be honest I was a sexual idiot as a teenager. I never had a clue if anyone liked me, they had to pretty much tell me point blank they liked me. I do remember the first time though and it was all with the eyes.
I don't get diamonds. I mean I know that they are, but I don't understand why people see them with such importance. I think the rationale is you spent so much money on me you obviously must love me. But when I see them I can't help but think you just blew all this money you could have spent taking your girl on a vacation to another country where you make real personal experiences, but instead of anything worthwhile, you get a very miniscule amount of compressed rock that you will occasionally wear and if you're lucky enough, won't get stolen. Memories don't get stolen. There are no memory thieves.
The guilty get no sleep in the last few hours of morning.
Lately I've been toying with the idea of getting a motorcycle. I used to have one when I was younger. It's weird for the past three weeks I've been thinking of it on and off. I've even went so far as to call dealerships for prices. Last week I ended up in the dealership seeing which bike fit my crotch best. I can't tell you why I want one. I rationalized it by saying I would save gas and I do think I would. I can't get all these stories out of my head though that dad told me about people that ended up street pizza or brain dead. I find a different reason to talk myself out of it every time I go to the dealership. Anyway, if you're driving down the road tonight and you see a road accident with a black bike and a skinny kid broken into 100 pieces, that's probably me.
Speaking of comics, there's one out now called Kick Ass about what would realistically happen is someone put on a costume and decided to fight crime. It's a great comic because by the end of the first issue the main character is in a comma after being beat by a gang. There are five issues left. I have no idea what the hell they are going to do with five issues of comma kid. It's a great concept though. What would happen if you decided you had had enough and you were going to fight crime? You went out and bought a spandex leotard, gave yourself and cool name, maybe bought some police body armor. What would actually happen to you or the world?
One of my friends recently noticed that I have way more female friends than male friends. There is a reason for this. This is not because I'm attracted to them. It's because I don't really know how to conversate with males, at least not the people I would be around. I have no interest in sitting around and making dick jokes, or fart jokes, in some weird test of manhood. I've tried it on a surface level recently in several situations but I'm no good at it. You'll notice the males I consider really close, there are only five, and only 2 of them live within 100 miles of me, we all share common interests; games, comics, books, films, music, outdoor stuff, and that's most of what we talk about. And I do treasure those male friends more than gold. To be honest I have more female friends because they conversate more and I'm always up for a conversation if you'll just make the time to talk. Unfortunately I find that doesn't happen with males because there is some weird competitions bullshit going on.
Do you remember the first time you were seduced by someone? For me it was high school. I'll be honest I was a sexual idiot as a teenager. I never had a clue if anyone liked me, they had to pretty much tell me point blank they liked me. I do remember the first time though and it was all with the eyes.
I don't get diamonds. I mean I know that they are, but I don't understand why people see them with such importance. I think the rationale is you spent so much money on me you obviously must love me. But when I see them I can't help but think you just blew all this money you could have spent taking your girl on a vacation to another country where you make real personal experiences, but instead of anything worthwhile, you get a very miniscule amount of compressed rock that you will occasionally wear and if you're lucky enough, won't get stolen. Memories don't get stolen. There are no memory thieves.
The guilty get no sleep in the last few hours of morning.
Lately I've been toying with the idea of getting a motorcycle. I used to have one when I was younger. It's weird for the past three weeks I've been thinking of it on and off. I've even went so far as to call dealerships for prices. Last week I ended up in the dealership seeing which bike fit my crotch best. I can't tell you why I want one. I rationalized it by saying I would save gas and I do think I would. I can't get all these stories out of my head though that dad told me about people that ended up street pizza or brain dead. I find a different reason to talk myself out of it every time I go to the dealership. Anyway, if you're driving down the road tonight and you see a road accident with a black bike and a skinny kid broken into 100 pieces, that's probably me.
Speaking of comics, there's one out now called Kick Ass about what would realistically happen is someone put on a costume and decided to fight crime. It's a great comic because by the end of the first issue the main character is in a comma after being beat by a gang. There are five issues left. I have no idea what the hell they are going to do with five issues of comma kid. It's a great concept though. What would happen if you decided you had had enough and you were going to fight crime? You went out and bought a spandex leotard, gave yourself and cool name, maybe bought some police body armor. What would actually happen to you or the world?