2005 is rapidly drawing to a close. I can hardly believe how quickly this year has gone by.
It's been quite a year though. I've gone the whole year without taking any classes, which is a little bit of a surprise. Last winter I decided I needed some time off to work on myself, personally, and see if I could figure out a bit more of what makes me tick.
Over the past year I've realized that without ever knowing it, I'd let fear run a lot of my life. I suppose the timing on this is good, as I can make it my new year's resolution to try to abolish my fears.
This year has seen me get my first tattoo. True, it didnt turn out quite as I'd planned, but seeing as it was something I'd put off for many years it really wasnt as scary as I'd mentally made it out to be. In fact, I find myself wanting to get another one.
Thanks to the fun folks I've met here on SG, I've been to my first strip club. Granted, I think I've been good places so far, but I think more than anything I'd just never been to one before because I was intimidated. Hell, I spent the last two nights at them! That's the way to do christmas!
I realized the big part of why I'm underpaid at my work is because I let myself be. I've now started taking a stand about it, and while the wheels of change move slowly (VERY slowly) at the office I work at, I think change is in the works. And even if my own office fails to come through for me, I've had offers to work elsewhere for a bit more money, and know I could find a good paying job elsewhere. Avoiding change is not a way to get oneself ahead in the world.
In fact, with the help of one friend from here on SG, I may be making a large change to my appearance pretty soon. I'll admit to still having some trepidations over this, but... This past year has taught me the value of the phrase; "Oh, what the hell."
One of the biggest ways in which I realized that fear has controlled my life is with my own relationships. I realize that despite how very much I want to develop deep relationships with people, I put up walls whenever I start getting close with someone new. This would probably be why I've been single for a while. I'll just gloss over the fact that the majority of the girlfriends I have had successful relationships have been the type to not let walls get in their way.
I guess I dont let most of my friendships/relationships move much past the acquaintance phase. I'm going to need to work on that.
Anyways, this turned into a much longer update than I'd planned! This is what happens when I have too many days off in a row, I end up thinking.
New year's resolution: Say a big "Fuck You" to my own doubts, and keep getting more out of life.
Here's to 2005, which has been a good year! And to 2006, which should be better still.
It's been quite a year though. I've gone the whole year without taking any classes, which is a little bit of a surprise. Last winter I decided I needed some time off to work on myself, personally, and see if I could figure out a bit more of what makes me tick.
Over the past year I've realized that without ever knowing it, I'd let fear run a lot of my life. I suppose the timing on this is good, as I can make it my new year's resolution to try to abolish my fears.
This year has seen me get my first tattoo. True, it didnt turn out quite as I'd planned, but seeing as it was something I'd put off for many years it really wasnt as scary as I'd mentally made it out to be. In fact, I find myself wanting to get another one.
Thanks to the fun folks I've met here on SG, I've been to my first strip club. Granted, I think I've been good places so far, but I think more than anything I'd just never been to one before because I was intimidated. Hell, I spent the last two nights at them! That's the way to do christmas!
I realized the big part of why I'm underpaid at my work is because I let myself be. I've now started taking a stand about it, and while the wheels of change move slowly (VERY slowly) at the office I work at, I think change is in the works. And even if my own office fails to come through for me, I've had offers to work elsewhere for a bit more money, and know I could find a good paying job elsewhere. Avoiding change is not a way to get oneself ahead in the world.
In fact, with the help of one friend from here on SG, I may be making a large change to my appearance pretty soon. I'll admit to still having some trepidations over this, but... This past year has taught me the value of the phrase; "Oh, what the hell."
One of the biggest ways in which I realized that fear has controlled my life is with my own relationships. I realize that despite how very much I want to develop deep relationships with people, I put up walls whenever I start getting close with someone new. This would probably be why I've been single for a while. I'll just gloss over the fact that the majority of the girlfriends I have had successful relationships have been the type to not let walls get in their way.
I guess I dont let most of my friendships/relationships move much past the acquaintance phase. I'm going to need to work on that.
Anyways, this turned into a much longer update than I'd planned! This is what happens when I have too many days off in a row, I end up thinking.
New year's resolution: Say a big "Fuck You" to my own doubts, and keep getting more out of life.
Here's to 2005, which has been a good year! And to 2006, which should be better still.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I dunno if I bored you already with my bourbon spiels