This job will be the death of me. THE. DEATH.
I can see it now
"22 year old white female was found in a corporate office in the metropark area with injuries to her face, head, arms and hands. Injuries seem to be self inflicted while trying to lift industrial size printer, copier fax machine over her head in order to throw it out the window. Luckily the machine still copies AND collates. Victim was found by a super religious cleaning woman who initially called to report the blood stain was in the form of Jesus Christ. Authorities later said the stain looked more like Captain Crunch and/or Jeff Bridges. A note was found near the victim, stating only that "radishes taste like natures little assholes" and "tell him to stay out of my booze. He knows who 'he' is". More details at 11"
wow i had too much fun writing that.
I've got a few other things to say buuuuuuuuut writing that cheered me up so i'll save that for another day.
I can see it now
"22 year old white female was found in a corporate office in the metropark area with injuries to her face, head, arms and hands. Injuries seem to be self inflicted while trying to lift industrial size printer, copier fax machine over her head in order to throw it out the window. Luckily the machine still copies AND collates. Victim was found by a super religious cleaning woman who initially called to report the blood stain was in the form of Jesus Christ. Authorities later said the stain looked more like Captain Crunch and/or Jeff Bridges. A note was found near the victim, stating only that "radishes taste like natures little assholes" and "tell him to stay out of my booze. He knows who 'he' is". More details at 11"
wow i had too much fun writing that.
I've got a few other things to say buuuuuuuuut writing that cheered me up so i'll save that for another day.
mildots:
It reminded e of Office Space and the lady who tried to sell the grilled cheese shaped like the virgin Mary on Ebay. 