Ah, eternally stuck in awkward positions.
i'm not quite sure who moved all of my music around in my itunes while i was away, but it feels like its stuck on the "contemplative mix". Just lots of quiet thought provoking instrumentals and sad slow little diddys that make my brain explode in a sea of ridiculous.
I suppose the seasons really must be changing because i'm feeling extremely anxious and antsy. Autumn really is my favorite time of year and the past 2 years have quite honestly been soured and i didn't really enjoy them to the fullest. lets face it, when you share a guy, no one wins. so here's hoping this year i can really let go without limitations. I've got the zero drama card on my side this year. But i want to get out, i want this that and the other thing. want want want. Tattoos, apartments, cars, affection, adventure, minimal disappointment. I want to go in 17 different directions because my heart is so massive. I want my logical mind to stop calling the shots for me. I want my luck to change for the better. I want my timing to get more impeccable.
I'm also sensing a very depressing holiday season with pop pop gone. I kinda want to sleep november through january. Mentally i can't really see myself preparing for it since i become so alive in the fall i'd hate to drop into introversion during the other happiest time of the year for me.
See, all of this is just little nagging items that chip chip away in my brain. Like they're just running into a brick wall over and over because they haven't gotten some sort of resolution or the foggiest idea how to open a damn door. Oh yea, there may have been some absinthe involved. Probably should've mentioned that earlier, but that really has no effect the natural progression of things, just the random babble of this blog.
And away i go.
i'm not quite sure who moved all of my music around in my itunes while i was away, but it feels like its stuck on the "contemplative mix". Just lots of quiet thought provoking instrumentals and sad slow little diddys that make my brain explode in a sea of ridiculous.
I suppose the seasons really must be changing because i'm feeling extremely anxious and antsy. Autumn really is my favorite time of year and the past 2 years have quite honestly been soured and i didn't really enjoy them to the fullest. lets face it, when you share a guy, no one wins. so here's hoping this year i can really let go without limitations. I've got the zero drama card on my side this year. But i want to get out, i want this that and the other thing. want want want. Tattoos, apartments, cars, affection, adventure, minimal disappointment. I want to go in 17 different directions because my heart is so massive. I want my logical mind to stop calling the shots for me. I want my luck to change for the better. I want my timing to get more impeccable.
I'm also sensing a very depressing holiday season with pop pop gone. I kinda want to sleep november through january. Mentally i can't really see myself preparing for it since i become so alive in the fall i'd hate to drop into introversion during the other happiest time of the year for me.
See, all of this is just little nagging items that chip chip away in my brain. Like they're just running into a brick wall over and over because they haven't gotten some sort of resolution or the foggiest idea how to open a damn door. Oh yea, there may have been some absinthe involved. Probably should've mentioned that earlier, but that really has no effect the natural progression of things, just the random babble of this blog.
And away i go.