This is my first attemp at writing publically (other than some poetry). Please critique it.
The Fetid smells of blood and metal, death and smoke fills the air. My breath comes in ragged gasps, an archers arrow still showing from my chest. I still have a grip of my heavy sword, and my shield is mostly still intact.
I see his standing across the gore soaked field... taunting me to come to him. I take but a moments breath to adjust my chainshirt and leather that is clinging with other mens blood, and a bit of my own, to my body. His name is Wilhelm of Fendeep, we have been trying to end each others lives for at least a decade and today will be the day that one of us succeeds.
With a roar my ancestors would hear I charge this man, this man of hate and anger, the man I have sacrificed many of my tribemates to get with-in my blades reach. One, two, three Wilhelms men fall undernath my bulk as I charge through the lines... I catch the eye of my target and he laughs and starts to counter my charge.
We collide in a cacophony of steel and bones... the sound makes waves across the battlefield. Our men stop killing to watch as their own heros fight the battle they are all there to see happen.
Our blades flash and dive, like silver birds flying in a tornado. We dance the steps of death, both of our footwork and forms are exact. This is the fight that will be told in story and song for many years after the man who walks aways bones are dust.
My shield splits in twane as his foot connects, but it leaves me the opening to make a take for his other leg. My brand bites his leg and he spins into the ground, the blood from his wound stains the earth a deep red. Fast as a thought he is back up and comeing for me, slower, but still deadly. His attacks are that of a man who has lost his care for life... his strength seems to swell with the pain. He starts driveing me back towards a break in the field, to the edge of a cliff face leading into the rushing waters my men arrived upon.
He seems a man possessed, and just as his blade knocks the sword from my weakening hand... He starts for the killing blow... I see my honorable death coming, my door to Valhalla open...
"Seth... seth, wake up!" Wilhelm says... the battle around us seems in stasis. "You need to wake, you slept through your alarm and you're going to be late to work... again."
My mind is foggy and confused... then the battlefield starts to fade. Wilhelm points to a door that stands beside me. "Go you big oaf! We can start this again tonight!" he laughs and starts to become transparent.
The Door is white, with a golden knob. It has a sideways figure eight on the frame. I reach for the door and step through.
I sit up in bed... alarm screaming in my ear. Im not Rowan, barbarian chief of the Ursus Tribe... Im Seth, I work in a bar and go to school.
"Good dream..." I say to myself as I get out of bed.
To Be Continued-
The Fetid smells of blood and metal, death and smoke fills the air. My breath comes in ragged gasps, an archers arrow still showing from my chest. I still have a grip of my heavy sword, and my shield is mostly still intact.
I see his standing across the gore soaked field... taunting me to come to him. I take but a moments breath to adjust my chainshirt and leather that is clinging with other mens blood, and a bit of my own, to my body. His name is Wilhelm of Fendeep, we have been trying to end each others lives for at least a decade and today will be the day that one of us succeeds.
With a roar my ancestors would hear I charge this man, this man of hate and anger, the man I have sacrificed many of my tribemates to get with-in my blades reach. One, two, three Wilhelms men fall undernath my bulk as I charge through the lines... I catch the eye of my target and he laughs and starts to counter my charge.
We collide in a cacophony of steel and bones... the sound makes waves across the battlefield. Our men stop killing to watch as their own heros fight the battle they are all there to see happen.
Our blades flash and dive, like silver birds flying in a tornado. We dance the steps of death, both of our footwork and forms are exact. This is the fight that will be told in story and song for many years after the man who walks aways bones are dust.
My shield splits in twane as his foot connects, but it leaves me the opening to make a take for his other leg. My brand bites his leg and he spins into the ground, the blood from his wound stains the earth a deep red. Fast as a thought he is back up and comeing for me, slower, but still deadly. His attacks are that of a man who has lost his care for life... his strength seems to swell with the pain. He starts driveing me back towards a break in the field, to the edge of a cliff face leading into the rushing waters my men arrived upon.
He seems a man possessed, and just as his blade knocks the sword from my weakening hand... He starts for the killing blow... I see my honorable death coming, my door to Valhalla open...
"Seth... seth, wake up!" Wilhelm says... the battle around us seems in stasis. "You need to wake, you slept through your alarm and you're going to be late to work... again."
My mind is foggy and confused... then the battlefield starts to fade. Wilhelm points to a door that stands beside me. "Go you big oaf! We can start this again tonight!" he laughs and starts to become transparent.
The Door is white, with a golden knob. It has a sideways figure eight on the frame. I reach for the door and step through.
I sit up in bed... alarm screaming in my ear. Im not Rowan, barbarian chief of the Ursus Tribe... Im Seth, I work in a bar and go to school.
"Good dream..." I say to myself as I get out of bed.
To Be Continued-
elsie:
thank you so much for the comment on my rejected set! 
misshavok:
Your pics are amusing.