dorei

Mail call. Went out to the mailbox and got our daily mail. Inside was a box from the CVS. It was marked with the words "total protection inside!" and covered with red orchids. Obviously, this was an ad for feminine protection, a.k.a. mouse mattresses of doom for those five days out of the month when we bleed uncontrollably, but always fail to die. (Although many is the time I pray for death when in the clutches of Aunt Flo's crimson embrace, lemme tell ya.)

So riddle me this. Why is it that all feminine hygiene products have to be covered with pretty little flowers in their marketing? You gentlemen who have had the "good fortune" to be around us ladies when it's that time of the month could probably admit that we don't smell anything LIKE flowers, unless of course, we're discussing the stems of such blooms, after they've sat in stagnant water for a week, wilting in the hot sun on the dining room table. Then, perhaps we may reach the smell that seems to emanate from our nether regions. There are times when I can understand why, in biblical times, the women were shoved to the outskirts of the village during their menses, with cries of unclean! unclean! surrounding them.

Flowers. Yeah. Right.