dopespike

school starts soon, and there isn't even a blip on my mind about it. Normally around this time. I would be stresing about how the quarter will go. Going and getting everything I need. The non stop stress of finding my classes. So many things and everything to do with school. But I am not even thinking about that. It's not even a worry right now. There are so many other things on my mind. Everything I should have control over more or less anyways but just so much more then I can handle. I need to figure out what to do fast before the beginning of the quarter slips by me making me even less prepared. I usually know what to do and handle my situations accordingly and rarely without a hitch. I just don't know what to make of my current one. I am out of ideas, I dont even know where to start with it. I have had a lot of input from a few of my very good friends but they are nothing that I am capable of doing. It's not their suggestions are any difficult but mentally, it is nothing I could ever will myself to do. I am not ready for school, I didn't prepare myself for it and I don't know. I don't know if I will be able to handle that right now either. Things just seem to be falling appart but so subtly that I don't notice till it is too late. I would give anything to have order back into my life that I so uncontrollably lost. Another chance. Just one more chance.

I just don't know what to do.