my friend chris and i have NO GAME whatsoever. we are the complete opposite of pimp.
i'll start with his shitty story.
last night we went up to fresno, went out to eat, and stayed at my friend steven's girlfriend sierra's house. her mother was gone, so she wanted to have people over.. it was chris's birthday, so we all bought him dinner, and payed for his alcohol. when we all start drinking, my friend kenna starts hanging on him. and all of us immediately knew chris was gonna get lucky, for the first time ever. he's turning 18, and what better way to turn 18 than lose the v-card. plus the girl is SUUUUUUUUPER cute. a while goes by, and chris and kenna are both completely smashed, and they head off to bed. about a half hour later. we needed to get a hammer out of the garage, but the only way to the garage is through the room that chris is in. we all walk over to see if we can hear anything. and when we get there, the door handle is shaking. the room is weird, the air pressure in it holds the door shut kinda. you have to pull hard, and kenna was too drunk to realize it. so i let her out, and all of a sudden i'm hit with the most awful smell i've encountered in quite some time. turns out chris farted while they were making out. and it stunk so bad kenna had to leave. and the smell did not leave for at least a half hour (not exaggerating). so the one chance chris had at getting lucky. he blew by farting.
they ended up being really drunk and went back in there anyway though. and sure enough chris had sex. quote of the night...
"what happened, chris?"
"i'm not really sure, i don't remember a lot, but whatever it was, it felt gooooood"
time for my story.
last year. i used to work in the mall. and there was this girl sabrina that would always come visit me. and occasionally i would go visit her at her job. but i'm not exactly the best with the ladies. i'm shy and i freeze up. so i wasn't really good at talking to her.
i stopped working at the mall, and i stopped seeing her around. my brother's friend had a class with her this summer, and somehow the subject of me came up. they talked about me for a while, and she asks out of nowhere..
"hey, is kyle kinda slow?"
and my brother's friend was just shocked. and asked "what the fuck are you talking about? he's not slow"
so she told him that i just seemed kinda slow. yeah. bunk.
i go out of my way to try talking to a girl, and she thinks i'm retarded. damnit.
chris and i are hopeless. but at least chris is in a band, so he's got that going for him, haha.
i'll start with his shitty story.
last night we went up to fresno, went out to eat, and stayed at my friend steven's girlfriend sierra's house. her mother was gone, so she wanted to have people over.. it was chris's birthday, so we all bought him dinner, and payed for his alcohol. when we all start drinking, my friend kenna starts hanging on him. and all of us immediately knew chris was gonna get lucky, for the first time ever. he's turning 18, and what better way to turn 18 than lose the v-card. plus the girl is SUUUUUUUUPER cute. a while goes by, and chris and kenna are both completely smashed, and they head off to bed. about a half hour later. we needed to get a hammer out of the garage, but the only way to the garage is through the room that chris is in. we all walk over to see if we can hear anything. and when we get there, the door handle is shaking. the room is weird, the air pressure in it holds the door shut kinda. you have to pull hard, and kenna was too drunk to realize it. so i let her out, and all of a sudden i'm hit with the most awful smell i've encountered in quite some time. turns out chris farted while they were making out. and it stunk so bad kenna had to leave. and the smell did not leave for at least a half hour (not exaggerating). so the one chance chris had at getting lucky. he blew by farting.
they ended up being really drunk and went back in there anyway though. and sure enough chris had sex. quote of the night...
"what happened, chris?"
"i'm not really sure, i don't remember a lot, but whatever it was, it felt gooooood"
time for my story.
last year. i used to work in the mall. and there was this girl sabrina that would always come visit me. and occasionally i would go visit her at her job. but i'm not exactly the best with the ladies. i'm shy and i freeze up. so i wasn't really good at talking to her.
i stopped working at the mall, and i stopped seeing her around. my brother's friend had a class with her this summer, and somehow the subject of me came up. they talked about me for a while, and she asks out of nowhere..
"hey, is kyle kinda slow?"
and my brother's friend was just shocked. and asked "what the fuck are you talking about? he's not slow"
so she told him that i just seemed kinda slow. yeah. bunk.
i go out of my way to try talking to a girl, and she thinks i'm retarded. damnit.
chris and i are hopeless. but at least chris is in a band, so he's got that going for him, haha.
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