donatella

Many times I come to thought in thinking that I certainly hope NO ONE actually reads ANYTHING I type, nor listens to ANYTHING that I speak of. At the same time, I get to desperate points of anxiety that people ARE actually reading what I type, and LISTENING to what I am saying.
It would seem that my family, my friends, my therapist, my counselor coworkers,and my psychiatric doctor all have one thing about me that they ALL agree on: I am severely Bi-polar/BPD. They all ALWAYS say that I am ALWAYS one extreme emotion, to the next...always in extremes, and I twitch like a light switch to any given emotion. From extreme bouts of being bouncy hyper, to extreme cry spells, to extremely adoration, to big hissy-fits, to plain ol' being a bitch (or people will call me a major bitch about something).
My train of though, how I talk, what I do, and what I talk about ALL tend to match my emotional instability. Always changing subjects, starting projects and leaving one behind for another tho it had not been completed, to instant forgetfulness (such as holding a book right in front of my face, forget about it -which causes me to not even see it, despite it being right in plain view- and look for it everywhere...and never see it). Sometimes I will completely space out. Sometimes I will not talk, or make a sound, or a whisper. And sometimes, I will talk forever to the point of being absolutely obnoxious, or complete confusion as I constantly will change subjects and interweave subjects...which makes me very hard to follow sometimes. Then, I can also be VERY eloquent, deep, and detailed. And sometimes, very brief.
Anyway....I forget exactly why I am writing this...so, I will shut up now...