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domo_kun

Screw City

Member Since 2005

Followers 17 Following 39

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Tuesday Apr 19, 2005

Apr 18, 2005
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Once again, I am a total wuss.

I hate being in love. It sucks. Well, at least this part. Sunday I got the impression that the girl I like liked someone else. Then I was told today by one of my friends that he thinks that she likes me, and apparently he's good at spotting shit like that. I'M SO FUCKING CONFUSED!!!

She did seem to find my shyness rather cute, but that doesn't mean anything. She was at school today to research a Psychology project, and I offered to help her. We looked up peer-reviewed articles on the topic of "personality" and I saved most of them to my Tripod account and wrote an HTML page so she could access the files. I had to e-mail myself one of the files, and I will print it out tomorrow at school. Anyhow, she commented on how HTML code (I was typing in code in Notepad) makes sense, and then said that I could make a lot of money with my "computer hacking skills". She said I could tutor some of the computer students. I told her that I actually couldn't, because I don't use any of the software that they teach here, and, aside from Final Cut Pro, Premiere, and Photoshop, I only have passing familiarity with that software (FInal Cut Pro, Premiere, and Photoshop I happen to know very well).

She had to leave at about three, while I was still uploading files and encoding HTML, and so we parted in the Library. She thanked me for always being willing to help her on any of her projects, and I looked down and mumbled something about it being no big deal. She was like, "Aww, you're shy". Then she hugged me.

God, I'm tired. I am going to go to bed.
deleteme:
There are people on here from all over the place! Machesney Park? My girlfriend's dad lives there. I have been to Machesney and Love's park way too many times for a city boy. I'm going to Rockford for a wedding in 3 weeks! I have good friends and family in Chicago but I won't get to see them because the girl I'm dating has us going to see one of her old Rockford friends get married. Oh well.

Are you shy? My problem is I'm not shy enough. A good friend told me once that you have two choices in life. To be inconvenienced or bored. I don't know if fear of boredom has a clinical name but I suffer that. See, what I do when I meet a girl, is imagine the timeline of the relationship. 1st, she thinks I'm crazy but is interested enough to continue seeing me. Then, she'll start liking me and want to do as much as she can with me. Then comes the part where she loves me but she doesn't know why I don't show my love. And, finally I visualize her throwing things at me and calling me names when I do whatever I did to fuck every thing up.

This is all bad advice. Don't listen to me. There are millions of people you're compatible with or not compatible with. There aren't as many opportunities. Don't let them pass you by or you'll go crazy wondering what would have happened if you had actually said or done something.

Oh, and by the way, I really like the Backyard Grill (on State?) and Baccus, downtown Rockford.
Apr 19, 2005

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