domo_kun

it's like.. a whole bulletin of secret messages!

this is a fun game. only entirely awkward to write. i don't think i said what i wanted to.

1. List ten things you want to say to ten people but never will.
2. Don't say who they are
3. Don't confirm or answer anything.
4. Never discuss it again.


1. So basically, everything ever would not be half what it is without you. We're not like how we were three or four years ago, of course, but things like that don't just go away I guess. You're my best friend, obviously, even just for longevity's sake, because what I really admire about you is that you don't give up on people. And that you're not as jaded as everybody else. You believe in something, that's sort of enough.

2. You really frustrate me to no end sometimes. You're so spoiled, and ignorant, you can't seem to focus on anything but your terrible fear of being on your own. But I probably am bothered so much by that only because I'm that way too. I just want for you to be happy, it makes me unhappy that I can't make you happy. I don't know, I'm just like that I guess. But the rare times when I see you not being so afraid of everything, that's when you're amazing, clearly, and you should just be like that always.

3. You think you freak out a lot, but you're really the most level-headed and intelligent person I know. Talking to you makes me not so afraid of things, and I really can't thank you enough for what you did for me earlier this year, with that whole thing (you know what I'm talking about). Without you, I think I would've really fucked up even more portions of my life than I already have. I'm such a little kid compared to you, it's kind-of amazing.

4. sdhaksjhkjfdl. You make me not know what to say at all ever. In the good way, though, not the.. wow-you-confuse-me way. But you do, then, I guess. I'm absolutely terrified of you. But that's probably because I catch myself sometimes absolutely not terrified of you at all. Want to know a secret? I make all my wishes for you.

5. Stupid kid, you're not worth the words I wasted on you.

6. I don't know where you are. I wish I did, I wanted to move to the city and live two doors down from you again, like all those other summers. But they tell me they haven't heard from you in months and I wish I could have kept you from whatever it is that's taken you missing. We got to know each other in pretty much the coolest way ever, cause neither of us spoke a word of the other's language. Chicago's not Chicago without you.

7. So if I didn't include you all in one category, over half of my numbers would already be gone. It's different now, but then it's not when we can all just talk and everything's happy. You guys always got me away from everything else, be it either in physical or metaphysical form. Things like that, they're just incredible, really.

8. I don't really know what to say to you but for some reason felt compelled to include you on this list, so all I've got is, that one song, it reminds me of you.

9. We're entirely opposite of each other, so I don't why we're good friends, but we are, and I like that. I'm always afraid of making you angry though. I wish you were happier than you are. I think you want to do small-but-amazing things like I do. Like the field thing, we have to do that.

10. It's good you're gone. You're the one who turned those books into what they are, but I like you left as a legend, I don't think we should talk again.

4. sdhaksjhkjfdl. You make me not know what to say at all ever. In the good way, though, not the.. wow-you-confuse-me way. But you do, then, I guess. I'm absolutely terrified of you. But that's probably because I catch myself sometimes absolutely not terrified of you at all. Want to know a secret? I make all my wishes for you.