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domnicella

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday May 17, 2005

May 17, 2005
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Wow..I have a shot with him now that he's going through a divorce. Yeah right.(my group knows who)

And to think that couldn't last, my last relationship was bound to fail then anwyays. It was unthinkable and yet it happened. Just amazing and a bit disturbing. Love someone one minute or 2 years and then, empty feelings the next. It's scary.

Now I know something is up..this friend of mine, the one would never settle down, the one to drink hard and stay out late and the one who I made gag a few times(due to my sappy relationship of yester year)...just got engaged..through a letter?!...Will be married in July...only is 21. Everything just did a 360 on me.. My coworker had noticed my fake "smile" towards him..he said he can tell when its real and when Im faking it. I just laughed it off but he could tell I wasnt my normal self. Now I didnt think people would study me. And it bugged me a bit. I was affected for about a month and a half but tried to act like nothing was wrong. Yeah, stupid ring was a giveaway. It hasnt been on my ring finger for some time and people took notice 'cept those that I told, who I confided in. How embarrassing. blackeyed He told me that I looked strong at times but gave a few hints of weakness, when I would look straight forward and not look anyone in the eyes.
I guess I couldnt fool everyone. Not that I cared but my error was exploiting my happiness by the way my life was heading. I never bashed my ex to them, just simply said ..didnt work.(please dont ask why? or make assumptions would be in my head). Bittersweet, they said.."least we get to keep you now"."yeah" whatever ..ok back to work.
Im not the same as I was pre break up. Good or bad I dont know. Something Ill never grow accustomed to but have to accept which I already have and learn from my mistakes. No, I mean the mistakes. I was being talked to like I was carrying something with me, but in fact, I was fine. I think Im at my happiest right now. I just don't care for much of what goes around me outside of family.

That wasnt planned...
My journal...my thoughts..

Sorta therapeutic...
Gained a wife this year, guess its aint so bad, Amy.
tongue
cokeconfessional:
Hah, then you'd have a blast around me.
May 17, 2005

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