Sunday Oct 10, 2004

0
I have alot going on in my head. Lots of mixed up feelings thrown into that as well. If I can have the time to self analyze, I would do so in a second.
Why is it happening all of a sudden? and why do I need this tension?..I shouldnt ask myself. Just gets complicated with time and everytime I push it aside, it wont dissolve.
I know I have issues like everyone else. I get affected more because Im prone to vulnerbility, which bites.
Im not suffering from depression thankfully but there are times where Im so pessimistic about things in general that I could care less about everything, minus family. Might be the Russian blood in me that has a tiny, cold place in my heart. Some know how to push your buttons and they do it intentionally to see what your limit is. So its the norm for me to get set off and be on guard. I dont like it but its happened and just makes me think lesser of them and eventually I will step aside to avoid future, unnecessary stress.
(sighs)
Cheap form of therapy but it works for me. Im not a talker so writing it all down works best.

All in all I gotta look out for myself and stop pleasing those that take advantage of that. Which sadly is many.
More thinking proceeds. whatever
niobe:
I would love that. But in group I had use vote and now we are just going to have one constant group header. At least for the time being. If you would like to make some and then start a photoset for them, I think that would be great. I was getting a little lazy and the weeks seemed to come by so quick. So maybe if I do start changing the header they might be up longer, like a month or two weeks. So maybe in two weeks if others want to submit more headers we can do that.

I just woke up and so I hope this post makes sense and I hope that I understood your post to me.

Take care. kiss

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