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dominoe

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SG Since 2007

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Sunday Feb 04, 2007

Feb 4, 2007
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hey guys i tested my sobriety and almost failed!! ill explain:

so i decided 2 finally seperate from my soulmate because his soulmate is pot and alcohol. yeah. anyways i was super depressed but i had a suicide girls party 2 go too. i got lost in sanfrancisco and drove an hr and a half there and drove around there 4 like 2 more hrs. then i get 2 my hotel and find out the room id the size of my kitchen and the t.v. is mounted on my wall. anyways i decided to suck it up and get ready. my friend nora came with her boyfriend and we all went out 2 eat. they reminded me of how goofy carl and i were 2gether so i wasw already kinda down. then we finally get to the party and it was a disaster. everyone was drunk. i was depressed and my friend kinda ditched me. so i gave in and called carl. the so called love of my life. i wanted 2 go home and sleep in his arms were i feel the safest. but low and behold he was drunk. i called him in tears hoping he would rescue my but no.....he was just like everyone else. my heart was crushed. i literally felt the last strand break that was holding it in place. i felt like apart of me died. anyways i walked rite back up stairs grabbed a beer and cracked it open with my teeth!! i started 2 drink it as the tears poured down my face. i stopped and looked at all the smiling faces and realized this wasnt were i wanted 2 b. i left the party. walked 5 blocks and packed my things. i called my friend rob and he told me i did the right thing. i know i did. i have never been prouder of myself. i almost did the easy thing and drowned my feelings....but instead i stayed strong. i left sanfran and drove home. but wait it gets worse. then i called my other ex boyfriend thinking id just run into his arms...because thats what i always do. i can never handle things on my own. well i got 2 his house he was in his jammies. i saw his face...and realized that wasnt were i wanted 2 b either. so i went to my moms where my daughter was. woke my mom up and told her everything. my daughter heard my voice and called out 2 me. i had never been so happy to hear her cry. she was crying "mommy". thats when i knew that was were i was supposed 2 be. right where i was, with my daughter in my arms.





he may have been the man of my dreams but nothing is worth my sobriety. i guess now he can just stay in my dreams. but never again will he lay in my bed while im sleeping.



puke
VIEW 25 of 42 COMMENTS
zarathust:
Its a tough road, but really its the only one. Going on down the same destructive road never goes anywhere else but down, long and short. Besides going down in flames is such a boring predictable cliche nowadays. Live long, and live strong....
Feb 6, 2007
lunale:
i've been in love with a guy who was addictive in many sort of drugs (from pot, to morphin and depression) i know how you feel, i guess you did the right thing smile
Congrats for your set!! kiss
Feb 6, 2007

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