dominanefret

The following is a form poem I wrote as an assignment for my Creative Writing class.
The form is called a Pantoum, (pronounced pontoom, very similar to pontoon - like the boat.)
It is a fairly strict verse form, using line repetition as its vehicle. Each line repeating itself once at a set later point in the poem. So when writing it is necessary to make sure that every line will be capable of working, and making sense contextually, later on in the poem.
I am just glad that unlike the Villanelle, with a Pantoum rhyming is not required.
Villanelles are very, very hard.

The form, or repeat of a Pantoum is as follows:

1 2 3 4, 2 6 4 8, 6 10 8 12, 10 3 12 1

Here is mine.

On a moonlit night I lose myself
in the isolation of words, Ideas, and philosophy.
I recreate history in a small one room hut,
sitting at a plain oak table, lit by candlelight.

In the isolation of words, Ideas, and philosophy
for two years a man sits, in a cabin on Walden Pond.
Sitting at a plain oak table, lit by candlelight
he writes on nature, self-reliance, and solitude.

For two years a man sits in a cabin on Walden Pond,
for hours I sit in a replica in the Arizona Desert.
He writes on nature, self reliance, and solitude,
I contemplate staying for two years, two months, and two days.

For hours I sit in a replica in the Arizona Desert,
and I recreate history in a one room hut.
I contemplate staying for two years, two months, and two days.
On a moonlit night I lose myself.
( HAN March 2008)

Thoughts?
I'd like input on the repetition. Does it work?
It works to me, but that doesn't mean it will to anyone else.
I really want this to be good before turning it in to class. I haven't been satisfied with the poetry I have written lately, as in, over the past six-eight months or so. It has all been unnatural and forced, therefor uncomfortable. I think I might be getting back in the swing of things, I wrote one a few weeks ago that I like (but needs revising), and now this one. Both of which actually felt good to write.


Question of the day:
Name something that you are an expert on.

My answer- Nancy Drew.