dominanefret

Being here is peculiar. It is too much like home.
I am not just talking about Toronto. I am talking about this apartment that I had never been to before. The bed he sleeps on is OUR futon. The lamp on his side table is my lamp. The side table is one of a matching pair, I have the other. The sets of drawers in the closet are my drawers. The kitchen table is our table. The chairs are our chairs. The printer attatched to the computer was my printer.
He lives three short blocks from our old apartment.
I miss this city so much. I miss the annex. I miss all of it. This place feels so much more like home than almost anywhere else I have ever been.
He still feels like home too, but that is something that I obviously need to get over. It is better than it was. I haven't gotten desperate. I haven't cried to him or begged to him. I haven't tried to kiss him. I have just been his friend, which is what I need right now. But every now and then it is hard. Especially at night when he has himself curled around me, and it is so right, and so warm, and so comfortable, and so familiar.
Out here I can sleep. My insomnia seemed to evaporate once I got in to someone elses bed. This is definitely something that needs to be worked on. I need to be able to fall asleep when I am in a bed by myself. I need to be able to function on a normal human level on my own.

This trip has been very nice. It has made me realize a whole bunch of things in regards to what I want to do with my life. Things that I will talk about later.

On the way up I first stopped in cleveland and stayed with Garth, which was very nice. He is one of the sweetest and most considerate people that I know. I got in a lot later than I had originally intended, which was fine with him. When I got there we went up to his room, and he gave me a massage for around an hour. Then we went to sleep in his ridiculously big ridiculously comfortable bed. He was such a gentleman. He cuddled up with me, and kissed my head, but he didn't try anything with me and he didn't expect anything of me. He told me how much he missed me and now nice it was to see me. It was a very short visit in regards to the amount of time we were actually awake, but it was nice.

I then went from Cleveland to Dayton and saw halfjack, which went not quite as intended. It was a very interesting visit. The package that I sent him, of course, showed up while I was at his place. Waste of seven dollars having mailed it! I left on an akward note, but I was still very glad to have seen him. Any excuse to see him, and to touch him, leaves me feeling better. On the drive from Dayton to Toronto he ended up calling me and we got in to what started out as a fight, and ended up being an interesting conversation delving in to my psyche. That man does weird weird weird things to me.

He still has the most incredible eyes of anyone I have ever met in my life.

Toronto has just been nice and relaxing. Just what I needed. I got Sushi at New Generation. It is amazing to me to get so much amazing food, including sushi, for under six bucks. I tend not to be able to finish my meal there, and I always feel guilty when I can't finish sushi.

The shopping? The shopping has been amazing. I feel like such a girl talking like that. But it is the truth. I went in to the market and stopped at Courage My Love, which is my favourite of the stores within the market. I ended up getting this really neat shirt made of silk scarves tied together. But my find of the store? A red polka dot gabardeen dress from the 1950's. It is amazing. It is perfectly tight in the bodice, and quite full in the skirt. I found a belt that matches the creme color of the polkadots perfectly, and fits through the loops on the belt. The dress is amazing. And aparantly had been owned by the wife of the owner of the store. It is so incredibly cute, and actually fits. Most of the time things that have very defined waists do NOT look good on me. And they accidentally didn't charge me for the belt. I guess they thought that it went with the dress.

Then I stopped at Peach Berzerk, not intending on getting anything there. Their stuff is SO nice, but SO expensive. But I love it, and I had always wanted to try stuff on. I noticed that there was a large sale section, and I was like "maybe I can get one thing." Well Kingli, the owner of the store, was like "try stuff on! Try everything on!" So I ended up trying on around six dresses, two of which looked like they were tailored to me. They fit better on me than I think anything else I have ever worn. One was marked from 449 down to 59, and the other from 399 down to 89. I couldn't believe they hadn't been snatched up yet! But I guess whoever got them would have had to have the exact same body I do. So I ended up leaving with three things, those two dresses and a green silk jacket, when I went in expecting to get nothing. But I got 1,100 dollars worth of stuff for around 250.

Even Robbie, who thinks spending money on things like clothing is silly, when he saw the dresses on me literally went "wow" and told me that it was worth it.

Kingli is so funny. She told me that if she had known I was going to come in and that they were going to fit so perfectly, that she would have hiked up the prices again. She wants me to send in pictures of me in the dresses to put up on her webpage. She was just ranting and raving about how well they fit.

Now I have this day dream about moving to toronto and doing an apprenticeship under her.

Then we went to the Brydon's so I could watch ANTM. (Aww Megg... Jaeda/less hot Halle is so nothing compared to you.) and had dinner and played scrabble.

The first day I was here was rainy but warm. Even with the rain I was fine with just my long sleeve shirt. I didn't need my jacket on. I did around four clicks of walking in the rain and I was fine.

Yesterday? Yesterday it snowed. SNOWED.
Yesterday was chiller. I went over to future bakery and had a slice of mango raspberry cheesecake (leaving the crust.) I sat and read my book and watched as a pigeon just kind of walked around inside of the restaurant. He didn't fly. He wasn't even walking fast. He was just kind of strolling. Some hipster guy in his late twenties definitely took a picture of me giving the pigeon a funny look.

For dinner we went out to Queen of Sheba for Ethiopian food. I was accidentally listening in, and noticed that everyone in the restaurant (there were four tables of us) ordered the same thing. The vegetarian platter for two, mango juice, and the special hot tea. The special hot tea was SO good. It was what chai is supposed to be to me. It was absolutely wonderful. Especially with how cold it was.

After that we went out to Tortilla flats for three dollar margueritas. Three bucks for HUGE margueritas! It is so wonderful!

Today I slept in. And have been on the intarweb while Robbie is off doing some prepping for his exam tomorrow. (silly Canadian universities scheduling exams on saturdays and sundays.) When he gets back we are going to go to Jodhpur, my favourite Indian restaurant in the city. Baldwin street has a collection of AMAZING restaurants. After that we are driving over to the Brydon's so I can pick up some stuff of mine that was still there. Like my side table, a couple of lamps, and a box of hats and scarves.

Then I get to see Stellar!!!!! YAY!!!!! I am so excited. I haven't seen her in so long.

Don't know what I am doing after that yet. But I am happy.

I am thinking about calling Garth to see if I can stop to see him on the way home as well.


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So. Corinthia, FauxJocie, and I are having a contest to see which of us can go without sex or masturbation for the longest. We each have different reasons for doing this, some physical, some spiritual. But they are all good reasons. And the winner gets an awesome badge made by the other two.

I am SO going to win. NO SEX FOR ME!!!
And it isn't like I masturbate anyway.