In response to one girls "list" on myspace...her original line first, my comment after the slash..
What guys should know...
1. You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.//true
2. It never hurts to work out..take your own advice.//i don't like ripped guys
3.Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.//totally true
4. Not all girls masterbate, we just don't and we are not lying.//girls masturbate, ones that don't are bad in bed.
5. We hate porn.//i'm all about the porn...but it might just be me
6. Hmm...guys in jeeps..//guys in jeeps are shit holes
7.Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.//we can survive without
8. We think about you all the time.//and sometimes your friends
9. Being able to make us laugh is so much more important that how much you can bench-press.//i wouldn't date a guy that knew how much he could bench press
10. We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis.//tighty whities are hot
11. Hold our hand.//unless it's hot...then don't touch me
12. No backseat drivers...NONE.//wtf?
13. Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if & when you get it.//see i told you about the masturbating thing...of course you wouldn't like to "give"
14. We are not your all-night restaurant.//i thought you liked to receive?
15. Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month can't be held against us.//some girls lie
16. If you hold our hand while you're driving we will be throughly impressed...especially if it's stick.//you should be impressed by my driving abilities
17. Under no circumstances will we have a threesome.//once again...not open sexually (frigid*
18. You look hot in hooded articles of clothing.//sometimes trendy boys aren't hot
19. If you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.//we're mean to you if we like you
20. Having us over when you & your friends play video games doesn't count as "quality time".//join the game
21. Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis doesn't mean we're high maintananence.//it just means you have to wait forever for us to be ready
22. Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever!!//they're just making sure you won't turn into a cow
23. Keep in mind that we with hold sex when we're mad at you,so you might wanna get around to apologizing soon...//i like angry not makeup sex also
24. You can't force us to like sports..especially those associated with WWF.//that's the easiest one to watch...and don't date guys who like wrestling..
25. We're typically smarter than you..so get over it & stop whining when we get better grades than you.//school is for jerks
26. Leave little love notes in places we would only find it...//not my mother
27. The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.//and i know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic
28. We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot..get over it!//agreed
29. Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, & cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.//except anything that will benefit you...like blowjobs..or sexual satisfaction...threesomes...and watching girls masturbate to porn..
30. Just because we're in a serious relationship doesn't mean we plan to marry you someday, so stop being so damn scared!//the boy always wants to marry me
31. If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.//like picking boogers
32. Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.//that doesn't apply to me...guys like girls who like girls
33. If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.//don't admit anything
34. The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable..we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.//don't bring boys who play acoustic guitar to nightclubs...
35. On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...& lots of em!!//ok it's ok for you to hoe it out but not the guy..?
36. Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference.//yeah...that'll happen
37. Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery.//we just do it on the first date
38. Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die!//what ev
39. We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer every once in a while.//pull out the bling boys
40. Tell us we're beautiful.//and not fat
41. The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.//and also the big things
42. Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite.//sometimes it's good just to bone...cause obviouslyyou don't like oral
43. Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends..they will hunt you down & kill you.//don't be a weenie...do it yourself
44. If you're going to look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you doing it.//and expect to be kicked in the head
45. Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it's ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend with benefits, etc,//don't date people with ex's with benefits
46. No girl wants to be your "friend with benefits".//says who
47. We're too sensitive. Be gentle (and we're not talking about our hearts here guys.)//sensitive cause you don't masturbate...
48. One word when it comes to smoking...quit.//smoke..it's sexy
49. We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.//and to kill them off at anytime
50. If we happen to trip, fall, etc, while wearing the exceptionally high shoes that we love, go ahead & laugh..we will be...that is unless we hurt ourselves//don't wear shoes like strippers.
love, jenna
p.s. Am I a bitch for shitting on her list and then posting it back on myspace...or am I right about girls that don't masturbate or give oral sex being bad in bed?
What guys should know...
1. You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.//true
2. It never hurts to work out..take your own advice.//i don't like ripped guys
3.Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.//totally true
4. Not all girls masterbate, we just don't and we are not lying.//girls masturbate, ones that don't are bad in bed.
5. We hate porn.//i'm all about the porn...but it might just be me
6. Hmm...guys in jeeps..//guys in jeeps are shit holes
7.Girls need food, water, and compliments to survive.//we can survive without
8. We think about you all the time.//and sometimes your friends
9. Being able to make us laugh is so much more important that how much you can bench-press.//i wouldn't date a guy that knew how much he could bench press
10. We may think you are gay if you wear tighty-whities on a regular basis.//tighty whities are hot
11. Hold our hand.//unless it's hot...then don't touch me
12. No backseat drivers...NONE.//wtf?
13. Girls generally don't like giving head, so you better be ready to reciprocate if & when you get it.//see i told you about the masturbating thing...of course you wouldn't like to "give"
14. We are not your all-night restaurant.//i thought you liked to receive?
15. Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month can't be held against us.//some girls lie
16. If you hold our hand while you're driving we will be throughly impressed...especially if it's stick.//you should be impressed by my driving abilities
17. Under no circumstances will we have a threesome.//once again...not open sexually (frigid*
18. You look hot in hooded articles of clothing.//sometimes trendy boys aren't hot
19. If you think for any reason that we don't like you then we probably don't.//we're mean to you if we like you
20. Having us over when you & your friends play video games doesn't count as "quality time".//join the game
21. Just because we groom ourselves on a regular basis doesn't mean we're high maintananence.//it just means you have to wait forever for us to be ready
22. Never comment on how much a girl eats...ever!!//they're just making sure you won't turn into a cow
23. Keep in mind that we with hold sex when we're mad at you,so you might wanna get around to apologizing soon...//i like angry not makeup sex also
24. You can't force us to like sports..especially those associated with WWF.//that's the easiest one to watch...and don't date guys who like wrestling..
25. We're typically smarter than you..so get over it & stop whining when we get better grades than you.//school is for jerks
26. Leave little love notes in places we would only find it...//not my mother
27. The ability to play the guitar will help you get laid.//and i know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic
28. We're sorry, Brad Pitt just IS hot..get over it!//agreed
29. Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, & cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.//except anything that will benefit you...like blowjobs..or sexual satisfaction...threesomes...and watching girls masturbate to porn..
30. Just because we're in a serious relationship doesn't mean we plan to marry you someday, so stop being so damn scared!//the boy always wants to marry me
31. If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.//like picking boogers
32. Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.//that doesn't apply to me...guys like girls who like girls
33. If we can admit that we're wrong, you'd better be able to do the same.//don't admit anything
34. The excuse "I can't dance" is unacceptable..we'll appreciate the simple fact that you're trying.//don't bring boys who play acoustic guitar to nightclubs...
35. On that note, if you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...& lots of em!!//ok it's ok for you to hoe it out but not the guy..?
36. Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference.//yeah...that'll happen
37. Not all girls kiss on the first date, get over it...we're creatures of mystery.//we just do it on the first date
38. Make fun of our clothes...prepare to die!//what ev
39. We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer every once in a while.//pull out the bling boys
40. Tell us we're beautiful.//and not fat
41. The "little things" in a relationship are really the biggest.//and also the big things
42. Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite.//sometimes it's good just to bone...cause obviouslyyou don't like oral
43. Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends..they will hunt you down & kill you.//don't be a weenie...do it yourself
44. If you're going to look at other girls, at least make sure we don't see you doing it.//and expect to be kicked in the head
45. Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it's ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend with benefits, etc,//don't date people with ex's with benefits
46. No girl wants to be your "friend with benefits".//says who
47. We're too sensitive. Be gentle (and we're not talking about our hearts here guys.)//sensitive cause you don't masturbate...
48. One word when it comes to smoking...quit.//smoke..it's sexy
49. We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends.//and to kill them off at anytime
50. If we happen to trip, fall, etc, while wearing the exceptionally high shoes that we love, go ahead & laugh..we will be...that is unless we hurt ourselves//don't wear shoes like strippers.
love, jenna
p.s. Am I a bitch for shitting on her list and then posting it back on myspace...or am I right about girls that don't masturbate or give oral sex being bad in bed?
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
pommyjeff:
ps: you have to stop coming on to me in front of the other Barb. She is gonna get jealous. Just cos I sound like Fred, you can't have this piece yo!
pommyjeff:
pft like I'm scared of you bitch
