dollfac3

Mmmmmmmm.....

I woke up at 5.30 cos that when boyface gets up for work......

and he was not even here .....damn getting used to other peoples habits..........

I feel bit down today for the first time in ages.....

my friends bloke rang her at like 3.30am and was abusive and a nob....

I HATE watching her get treated like this.............she is worth ten of him....I fucking HATE people that think they are better than others........... he has money so thinks he has this right....to be a dickhead.....he wont use buses or say, a public phone....because he is above that......I mean he owns two bars....so fucking what? He has not found the cure for cancer has he???
NOB..............

gah......some people are truly cocks......

thats why i appreciate spending time with Aaron.....as even if it goes nowhere, his prioritys are right.....'stuff' matters not to him, but sitting with me, watching the sun come up, is what makes the world pretty..... and appreciated............. gah ....ok its nice to have money.....to be able to live comfortable, but it really can not buy you moments, and surely thats what life is made of eh?

I had a shitty start o the year, and had a truly life changing experience, that has changed my views on a lot of things..... myself, I now value myself and respect what I have, life, children, the people around me, helped me push my anxiety away, and made me realise how shit and fucked up some peoples values are....and my friends boy doing this just comfirms it...........

Why do people not stop and look at what they have? Appreciate how beautiful life can be, without the social ideals getting in the way, the wants etc..... STOP for just one second and watch....and listen....

life is amazing.....

I have had some truly shit things happen, and some truly amazing things, its all part of life.....they are there to teach us, but if you wander around with a closed mind you will never learn.... my last harsh lesson was the hardest, but I have come out changed, and better for it, and more centered, and with the knowledge that I really am better off without someone who values nothing and is selfish and can not see the bigger picture...I also now know that I can deal with anything.....because you often have no choice.....

I have some truly breathtaking people in my life, people who have my respect, trust and who are good people inside....yes we all fuck up, but its how you deal and handle mistakes.....mistakes make you human and we help each other through them...........

I am truly truly grateful for this chance of life I have, for this realisation I have been granted, for the moments I have been having, for the chance to share them with someone truly wonderful with a good good soul....for the oppotunity to learn and try to be a better person, to try to do the best I can, to try and give to those around me, when I can....

Anyway....sorry rant over.....

guess I am fed up of relationship wankness...........and seeing someone upset sucks....basically I have had enough of people thinking they can fuck others over...............that they have some kind of right to.....

Treat people with respect....I wish a certain person had with me, but thats all dead and gone, and my life is so much better.....

I love you my friends............
I really truly do....
your amazing...

xxxx