God I am ill.... been ill for past couple of days.... only just managed to get outta bed... kinda stomach bug, flu thing... I ache n want to be sick... crapness... I hate being ill..
Also I hate people... whilst me n the bloke were having problems I kinda got back with the ex... bad mistake... over the past year there has always been something kinda between us... and I realised recently it was just sex... How can someone say they love you n just then seem to use you??? I am so in love with my man but my ex held my heart for a long long time. And I suppose I always thought that maybe we would work out...
The reason I am ranting is because last night I was getting texts and he was like, do you hate me... and I am like no but obviously I have a lot of negative thoughts at the moment etc n he is now all like but i wouldn't feel like this if i had been using you and we have to meet etc.... all I ever get when I see him is trouble n tears.... gggrrrr
He either is like I can't talk to you or I just want a fuck, oooh I love you...
Love is about feeling, and being there and excepting someone faults n all and loving them more for that. Not just fucking...
my bloke loves me... if he didn't after all we have been through then why would he still be around? He makes me cups of tea, he tucks me up in bed and cooks when I am ill... he buys me strange presents just because and misses me when I am not there...don't get me wrong, hell sex matters to me, but I want someone to love me for who I am ....
As you can prolly tell I am pretty pissed off right now. My bloke is getting upset cos he is insecure because of past recent events with the ex so he is worried, I feel like shit , n all ex wants is for me to go, no I am fine and still care, n no I never felt used. Well screw you matey. Your gonna have to take responsibility for your actions just as I had to when I told someone I loved about what we had done. (even tho the bloke n I were not together it still hurts huh?) People can't like you all the time, I don't think he is worried because he loves me, it's the fact that I think badly of him now.... oh poor hun, the sympathy has run out... I still care but damn the sympathy really has gone... along with most of my self esteem you took away... fuck you ..
Rant over....
p.s I do have a fever so sorry.... lol
listening to Hurt by NIN.... how apt...lol
Also I hate people... whilst me n the bloke were having problems I kinda got back with the ex... bad mistake... over the past year there has always been something kinda between us... and I realised recently it was just sex... How can someone say they love you n just then seem to use you??? I am so in love with my man but my ex held my heart for a long long time. And I suppose I always thought that maybe we would work out...
The reason I am ranting is because last night I was getting texts and he was like, do you hate me... and I am like no but obviously I have a lot of negative thoughts at the moment etc n he is now all like but i wouldn't feel like this if i had been using you and we have to meet etc.... all I ever get when I see him is trouble n tears.... gggrrrr
He either is like I can't talk to you or I just want a fuck, oooh I love you...
Love is about feeling, and being there and excepting someone faults n all and loving them more for that. Not just fucking...
my bloke loves me... if he didn't after all we have been through then why would he still be around? He makes me cups of tea, he tucks me up in bed and cooks when I am ill... he buys me strange presents just because and misses me when I am not there...don't get me wrong, hell sex matters to me, but I want someone to love me for who I am ....
As you can prolly tell I am pretty pissed off right now. My bloke is getting upset cos he is insecure because of past recent events with the ex so he is worried, I feel like shit , n all ex wants is for me to go, no I am fine and still care, n no I never felt used. Well screw you matey. Your gonna have to take responsibility for your actions just as I had to when I told someone I loved about what we had done. (even tho the bloke n I were not together it still hurts huh?) People can't like you all the time, I don't think he is worried because he loves me, it's the fact that I think badly of him now.... oh poor hun, the sympathy has run out... I still care but damn the sympathy really has gone... along with most of my self esteem you took away... fuck you ..
Rant over....
p.s I do have a fever so sorry.... lol
listening to Hurt by NIN.... how apt...lol
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i hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year