Whoa, there!
Thanks for your concern, but I'm not scheduled for surgery. See, only doctors get to sort things like that out, and I haven't shown my hernia to any of those yet.
So how do I know it's a hernia? Well, why don't you go get yourself one, wiseass, and then tell me how difficult it is to tell if it's really a loop...
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Thanks for your concern, but I'm not scheduled for surgery. See, only doctors get to sort things like that out, and I haven't shown my hernia to any of those yet.
So how do I know it's a hernia? Well, why don't you go get yourself one, wiseass, and then tell me how difficult it is to tell if it's really a loop...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
The hernia has come between me and karaoke.
The war between my protruding colon and me begins Thursday.
The war between my protruding colon and me begins Thursday.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
st_expedite:
Thanks for the invite. 
ethan:
Yes, am back. Nice to hear from you.
Gary says hello, as well. He's been taking investment courses at the local community college, the freakin loon. It's a waste of time I tell him but he won't hear any of it.
Howve you been? I thought you ditched this place, too.
Gary says hello, as well. He's been taking investment courses at the local community college, the freakin loon. It's a waste of time I tell him but he won't hear any of it.
Howve you been? I thought you ditched this place, too.
Giraffes? Giraffes!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
uncognitive:
Que?
I am not of the "in" from whence these jokes emerge.
I am not of the "in" from whence these jokes emerge.
rottenart:
it would be great if i were battling one-eyed aliens or conversing with sentient life from the fifth dimension or something, but these all seem to have the same theme: real life drama.
blah.
blah.
Today's lesson:
pain radiates.
And not like a pebble in a pond. It's more like a hurricane sending tsunamis out in all directions: you've got two choices; run; or stand your ground.
Or try to stand your ground and be swept far away despite your best efforts.
pain radiates.
And not like a pebble in a pond. It's more like a hurricane sending tsunamis out in all directions: you've got two choices; run; or stand your ground.
Or try to stand your ground and be swept far away despite your best efforts.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
oryx:
if you are talking about your hernia again, GET THEE TO A DOCTOR, SILLYPANTS!
although i fear you are not. so in which case... *hugs*
although i fear you are not. so in which case... *hugs*
Might as well show you polaroids of my grandkids.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
uncognitive:
Well, that's a good deal less creepy than showing me pictures of someone stranger's grandkids.
pensquare:
I had a grandkid once.
But he died because I forgot to punch holes in the jar's lid.
Huzzah!
But he died because I forgot to punch holes in the jar's lid.
Huzzah!
Dogslife: But then, there's the Canada factor.
TheHedgehog: is that anything like the o'riley factor?
TheHedgehog: x-factor?
TheHedgehog: fact-factor?
Dogslife: Max Factor?
Dogslife: Ah, concealer, the most deceitful of cosmetics.
TheHedgehog: the polar opposite of lip liner
TheHedgehog: which takes the "hey, i'm not foolin anyone, but at least i make you look cheap" road.
Dogslife: If I had a nickel for every time that...
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TheHedgehog: is that anything like the o'riley factor?
TheHedgehog: x-factor?
TheHedgehog: fact-factor?
Dogslife: Max Factor?
Dogslife: Ah, concealer, the most deceitful of cosmetics.
TheHedgehog: the polar opposite of lip liner
TheHedgehog: which takes the "hey, i'm not foolin anyone, but at least i make you look cheap" road.
Dogslife: If I had a nickel for every time that...
Read More
pensquare:
I never expected you to discuss anything less than modern transcendentalism with your peers. But Santa Clause being a metaphor for ass rape?
I'm so disallusioned.
I'm so disallusioned.
UPDATE:
I have reason (bulging, groinally located reason) to believe I have a hernia. And as convenient as it is getting a two-hour heads up on my next poop, (in the easy-to-decipher form of a swelling on one side of my junk, no less) I'm hoping it can be taken care of without too much fuss.
* * * * *
Karaoke tonight.
Alias: Happy...
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I have reason (bulging, groinally located reason) to believe I have a hernia. And as convenient as it is getting a two-hour heads up on my next poop, (in the easy-to-decipher form of a swelling on one side of my junk, no less) I'm hoping it can be taken care of without too much fuss.
* * * * *
Karaoke tonight.
Alias: Happy...
Read More
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
mk700c:
****** It's not a "hernia" it's a "groin-goiter."
flux:
Both of us appear to be having issues in our bathing suit areas.
I had a conversation today with a person who had the most perplexing speech habit.
Observe.
Me: So, if you've read over the consignment contract then we can just sign
Her: Riiiiiiight...
Me: it and I'll put the books on display in the main al-
Her: Okaaaaaay..
Me: -cove where they're sure to see a lot of browsers
Her: Riiiiiiiiiight...
Me: and at the end...
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Observe.
Me: So, if you've read over the consignment contract then we can just sign
Her: Riiiiiiight...
Me: it and I'll put the books on display in the main al-
Her: Okaaaaaay..
Me: -cove where they're sure to see a lot of browsers
Her: Riiiiiiiiiight...
Me: and at the end...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
oryx:
she is right. listen to her voice of reason.
and tell her to answer her email so we can go girly things this weekend.
and tell her to answer her email so we can go girly things this weekend.
scopitone6248:
Friend For Life I shouldn't have had to invoke the man.
Yeah, I saw that show with my then serious girlfriend and it was great up until The Incident. I used to love telling that story but the woman hated it as she was one of those girls that likes to live in a fantasy world where feces dont exist. Not that Im some big cheerleader for thatcrap, Im simply not about to let some phobia stop me from telling an awesome Nick Cave story.
Yeah, I saw that show with my then serious girlfriend and it was great up until The Incident. I used to love telling that story but the woman hated it as she was one of those girls that likes to live in a fantasy world where feces dont exist. Not that Im some big cheerleader for thatcrap, Im simply not about to let some phobia stop me from telling an awesome Nick Cave story.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
bikiniradio:
holy shit, it's November?
my mom is moveing too, to B.F.E., so im feeling your pain. Does this mean it's harder for us to get presents?
my mom is moveing too, to B.F.E., so im feeling your pain. Does this mean it's harder for us to get presents?
scopitone6248:
My sub ran out a couple months ago and I've been buying it in stores like some filthy animal.
It is a hassle having to travel during the holidays. When I moved out at 19 I flew home for every occasion but always refused (unless they paid for my ticket) when it came time to celebrate minor things like cousins birthdays or other made up holidays involving Jesus coming back or something.
Still, that feeling that you dont have a place to go back to and relive old memories can be both chilling and liberating.
Oh and that Murray article is flawless. In fact Im going to fall asleep to Groundhog Day tonight in honor of it. Actually, bad idea. Id like to get to sleep as soon as possible so Ill pop in Lost In Translation.
Take that Coppola!
It is a hassle having to travel during the holidays. When I moved out at 19 I flew home for every occasion but always refused (unless they paid for my ticket) when it came time to celebrate minor things like cousins birthdays or other made up holidays involving Jesus coming back or something.
Still, that feeling that you dont have a place to go back to and relive old memories can be both chilling and liberating.
Oh and that Murray article is flawless. In fact Im going to fall asleep to Groundhog Day tonight in honor of it. Actually, bad idea. Id like to get to sleep as soon as possible so Ill pop in Lost In Translation.
Take that Coppola!
I get the hint. Y'all don't like talking to me when there's a poem here.
Don't fret. Your reaction places you solidly in the majority: I've just discovered that I've got a rejection letter coming. Another one. It's the first in over a year. I guess that means I'm still kicking.
Don't fret. Your reaction places you solidly in the majority: I've just discovered that I've got a rejection letter coming. Another one. It's the first in over a year. I guess that means I'm still kicking.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
shal:
I accidentally clicked "Leave This Group" on NHS. Can you forgive me and readmit me? Pretty pretty please?
Stupid laptop touchpad... grrr....
Stupid laptop touchpad... grrr....
pensquare:
Some people thrive on rejection. That's why I don't bathe.
They.
They don't bathe. The people who..... thrive.... ::runs away::
They.
They don't bathe. The people who..... thrive.... ::runs away::
I wish all cancer went away when you shit.