dogmadeth

Since this is my only blog that perty much nobody has access to... FUCK!!!!!!!!

Tonight I went out with Colleen for sushi and then to Club Ravenous for dancing. She was by my side the whole damn time being all sexy with her look and her belly dancing/stomping. Shes a friend of mine and the whole damn time my head was like "wow, its like I have a girlfriend"... GAH, I fucking hate myself for the torture I put myself through.

As great as my life is; great job, live on my own, have awesome friends, have all the tools and goodies that keep me entertained, getting a motorcycle soon to add to that list; I'm fucking miserable with myself.

What the hell is it that drives me to feel like I need someone else to complete me? I say all the time that I am happy with my life as is, but the truth is I'm just keeping myself occupied to dull the pain.

Sure I would love to just have a physical fling with someone but that wouldnt solve anything. I crave that feeling where I desire the company and physical attention of a woman AND HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS FELT OF ME BY THAT PERSON.

I am now at a loss and should just go to bed. I'm on call this weekend.

V