a shadowy flight into the world of a man who does not exist...
Doghouse Reilly, young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law...
So jovia and I were housesitting, taking care of some friends' dogs for the weekend while they were out of town, and we're not in the house for five minutes before we take the dogs outside and promptly lock ourselves out; night-time, no light, dogs running around and the housekeys sitting inside on the kitchen table. We are fucked.
Five minutes later we were back inside warm and sitting on the couch, because I am just too much ninja to be kept out of your average suburban neighborhood house.
If a suburban neighborhood was a jungle, I would be Tarzan.
As a kid our parents would lock us out all day and we would just try to break back inside. Looting snacks, equipment, toys, covering your tracks as best you could. Then later, it was just the reverse, sneaking out or sneaking back in, preferably undetected, possibly inebriated. Infiltrating the most hallowed grounds or highest points to sanctify it with the burning of a doob, springing a friend from the bonds of parental lockdown. We knew which evergreen shadows to hide in, the look of lawns wet with dew lit by the moonlight, we could leap backyard fences at a run and scale a gutter by our fingertips. We were garage beer theives, TP assassins. Forged by our instruction at the hands of men like Snake and MacGuyver and Michael Knight and Magnum PI, we did not know fear or failure... and our feats were storied and many.
Every once in a while it's still really handy.
Here's to all the kids who still kick cans and chase ghosts in graveyards...
Doghouse Reilly, young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law...
So jovia and I were housesitting, taking care of some friends' dogs for the weekend while they were out of town, and we're not in the house for five minutes before we take the dogs outside and promptly lock ourselves out; night-time, no light, dogs running around and the housekeys sitting inside on the kitchen table. We are fucked.
Five minutes later we were back inside warm and sitting on the couch, because I am just too much ninja to be kept out of your average suburban neighborhood house.
If a suburban neighborhood was a jungle, I would be Tarzan.
As a kid our parents would lock us out all day and we would just try to break back inside. Looting snacks, equipment, toys, covering your tracks as best you could. Then later, it was just the reverse, sneaking out or sneaking back in, preferably undetected, possibly inebriated. Infiltrating the most hallowed grounds or highest points to sanctify it with the burning of a doob, springing a friend from the bonds of parental lockdown. We knew which evergreen shadows to hide in, the look of lawns wet with dew lit by the moonlight, we could leap backyard fences at a run and scale a gutter by our fingertips. We were garage beer theives, TP assassins. Forged by our instruction at the hands of men like Snake and MacGuyver and Michael Knight and Magnum PI, we did not know fear or failure... and our feats were storied and many.
Every once in a while it's still really handy.
Here's to all the kids who still kick cans and chase ghosts in graveyards...
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And now, when Doghouse grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs.
The creature is wanted for a murder he didn't commit. Doghouse is believed to be dead, and he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.
I realize this sounds like a Monty Python skit (and may possibly have been one) but it was actually a blast.
We'd basically try and get around our entire neighborhood at night without being seen by anyone and the real challenges were cars and headlights so we'd be doing ridiculous things like walking slowly around a telephone pole as a car drove by in the opposite direction.
The best part was when we got chased - it happened a few times.
Didn't you know? We're all just grown up amalgams of our childhood pranks. Amplified. (Explains the current political situation at least)