T'were the night 'afore Christmas, an' all troo da hizzy
Nary a mofo be trifin, they's all gettin' bizy...
I am in my cap and I have me my pipe and I'm bout to hunker down for a long winter's post-dinner nap. My family has decided that instead of spending money giving each other gifts, we're going to all go volunteer at a soup kitchen or something in the next few days. This is good, because I'm broke, and because I certainly could stand to dole out the good karma, but damn if years of brainwashing hasn't led me to crave that rush of early morning Christmas materialism that I won't be getting this year. Ah, well... I'm sure we'll all come up with some kind of gifts to give each other... I have approximately 10 billion MP3's that I can whip into some mixes for my sisters, and I can burn some Sopranos episodes for my dad (he always misses the good whackings) and find some books on tape for my mom. Besides, last year my favorite gift were a set of throw pillows my sister made with various cool comic book panels painted on the fronts (they are fucking awesome, I'll see if I can't get some pics of them up), so I can always rely on my family to still bring the cool.
Right now I am basking in the warmth of domestic contentedness and relishing the indulgences of hopelessly cliched yet still entirely fulfilling holiday traditions. I have Christmas spirit like a mutha, and I'm spreading yuletide cheer like some kind of jingle-belled Outbreak monkey.
Life is good and I like it and I hope you do too.
Also, I got the Venture Brothers Christmas Special on tape and I'm going to watch it for the 1,230,957th time.
"Baby Jesus is out of the manger!"
*looks down at fly*
In this spirit of Christmas, I present to you this reading material... Did you know that the concept of Santa Claus is based on the ancient shamanic traditions of Siberian nomads who drank reindeer piss to get high? Reindeer are known to eat amanita muscaria mushrooms, which are highly psychoactive, and the active chemical compound does not fully break down in their digestive system. The nomads who followed the annual migratory patterns of the reindeer would drink the reindeer urine and it would send them into a psychedelic stupor (hence, the British term, "getting pissed.") So when these red suited, bushy bearded nomads sledded into town behind their team of reindeer, they brought with them "magickal gifts" of potions and spiritual visions for the lucky villagers. That's right, not only is Christmas a borrowed pagan winter solstice celebration, but that jolly fat red and white icon of childhood holiday cheer is actually a crazed Cossack berserker hopped up on pharmacological flora and careening wildly through the night on a mad vision quest to bring tripped out hallucinogenic fantasies to all the good children of the world.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Nary a mofo be trifin, they's all gettin' bizy...
I am in my cap and I have me my pipe and I'm bout to hunker down for a long winter's post-dinner nap. My family has decided that instead of spending money giving each other gifts, we're going to all go volunteer at a soup kitchen or something in the next few days. This is good, because I'm broke, and because I certainly could stand to dole out the good karma, but damn if years of brainwashing hasn't led me to crave that rush of early morning Christmas materialism that I won't be getting this year. Ah, well... I'm sure we'll all come up with some kind of gifts to give each other... I have approximately 10 billion MP3's that I can whip into some mixes for my sisters, and I can burn some Sopranos episodes for my dad (he always misses the good whackings) and find some books on tape for my mom. Besides, last year my favorite gift were a set of throw pillows my sister made with various cool comic book panels painted on the fronts (they are fucking awesome, I'll see if I can't get some pics of them up), so I can always rely on my family to still bring the cool.
Right now I am basking in the warmth of domestic contentedness and relishing the indulgences of hopelessly cliched yet still entirely fulfilling holiday traditions. I have Christmas spirit like a mutha, and I'm spreading yuletide cheer like some kind of jingle-belled Outbreak monkey.
Life is good and I like it and I hope you do too.
Also, I got the Venture Brothers Christmas Special on tape and I'm going to watch it for the 1,230,957th time.
"Baby Jesus is out of the manger!"
*looks down at fly*
In this spirit of Christmas, I present to you this reading material... Did you know that the concept of Santa Claus is based on the ancient shamanic traditions of Siberian nomads who drank reindeer piss to get high? Reindeer are known to eat amanita muscaria mushrooms, which are highly psychoactive, and the active chemical compound does not fully break down in their digestive system. The nomads who followed the annual migratory patterns of the reindeer would drink the reindeer urine and it would send them into a psychedelic stupor (hence, the British term, "getting pissed.") So when these red suited, bushy bearded nomads sledded into town behind their team of reindeer, they brought with them "magickal gifts" of potions and spiritual visions for the lucky villagers. That's right, not only is Christmas a borrowed pagan winter solstice celebration, but that jolly fat red and white icon of childhood holiday cheer is actually a crazed Cossack berserker hopped up on pharmacological flora and careening wildly through the night on a mad vision quest to bring tripped out hallucinogenic fantasies to all the good children of the world.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
i hope i'll be as popular on SG as you claim i'll be!
have an awesome...uh...monday, i guess, haha.
xox.