Fuck-a-doodle-do!
I hadn`t heard the damn cockerel for at least 3 days untill this morning at 6am..
now i`m not a morning person, or a people person, or usually a sober person, so imagine me at 6am with a hangover being woken from lovely dreams of me making sweet sweet love to giant purple hamburgers (i know i need to see a shrink!!
) by an animal that shouldn`t be there!
get the picture
On came the fighting pants, along with the big red steelies, and a t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan "will fuck for coke" and i whent for a walk, now my appearence at 6am was duly noted by 1, my neighbour who wished me luck in my quest to "knock seven shades of shite outta that damn tree hugger" and 2. slightly more annoying the police, damn them every move i make. (It`s like theyre trying to pin 7 or 8 different crimes on me that maybe i didn`t do
)
Anyway onwards to mayhem!!!! the coppers did ask where i was off to so i told them....and had their full support (good old PC`s dave and stu!!, is it bad i know their first names????) i knocked on the hippys door and it answered.
he looked a touch shocked that i wasn`t the milkman,
so i explained my grievences and he invited me ino his nice little house, we sat i yelled he talked then i talked then we laughed.
His name is darren hes a landscape gardener from salford, he`s minding the cockerel for a friend, he hates it too, it`s going back soon, what bloody nice bloke.
this is all very well an all but several of my questions were left unanswered,
1. where the fuck was the cockerel?
2. are there any gardens to landscape in salford?
3. why oh why didn`t I chin him???
ahhhh well i`m off to supp a few "Irish Car Bombs!!!!" cheers to DblFstedBeenonza for the recipie!!
Happy new year, muvver fuckkers! i`m off ta raa
I hadn`t heard the damn cockerel for at least 3 days untill this morning at 6am..
now i`m not a morning person, or a people person, or usually a sober person, so imagine me at 6am with a hangover being woken from lovely dreams of me making sweet sweet love to giant purple hamburgers (i know i need to see a shrink!!
) by an animal that shouldn`t be there!
get the picture
On came the fighting pants, along with the big red steelies, and a t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan "will fuck for coke" and i whent for a walk, now my appearence at 6am was duly noted by 1, my neighbour who wished me luck in my quest to "knock seven shades of shite outta that damn tree hugger" and 2. slightly more annoying the police, damn them every move i make. (It`s like theyre trying to pin 7 or 8 different crimes on me that maybe i didn`t do
)
Anyway onwards to mayhem!!!! the coppers did ask where i was off to so i told them....and had their full support (good old PC`s dave and stu!!, is it bad i know their first names????) i knocked on the hippys door and it answered.
he looked a touch shocked that i wasn`t the milkman,
so i explained my grievences and he invited me ino his nice little house, we sat i yelled he talked then i talked then we laughed.
His name is darren hes a landscape gardener from salford, he`s minding the cockerel for a friend, he hates it too, it`s going back soon, what bloody nice bloke.
this is all very well an all but several of my questions were left unanswered,
1. where the fuck was the cockerel?
2. are there any gardens to landscape in salford?
3. why oh why didn`t I chin him???
ahhhh well i`m off to supp a few "Irish Car Bombs!!!!" cheers to DblFstedBeenonza for the recipie!!
Happy new year, muvver fuckkers! i`m off ta raa
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
dude, it's not bad you know the cops first names...it's pretty *cough*normal i think
it's probably good you didnt punch him, considering he was a nice bloke!
i know coke will kill me...but dude, a 3rd eye?! really?! amazing!