dodraibeid

"I wouldn't call it so much 'feeling no pain' as I would call it 'having a vauge idea of pain'."

"Well, whether you feel it or not, it still didn't come off the dessert shelf!"

"Look, just cause someone lit fire to your asshole doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us. It was an honest mistake."

"Ok, but like...
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I wish I had a picture of Scot. Scot is a zombie. And he worships Satan. And he works at the Park Inn, where he rents people rooms that are not locked. So not locked are these rooms, that the doors are not even fucking closed. That means that there's absolutely a dead hooker lurking in the mattress and a living fetus lurking in the...
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The quick version: Hell fuck yeah.
The long version: HHHeeelll fffuuuccckkk yyyeeeaaahhh.

More later, when my body has forgiven me.

So I'm going to work in a few minutes.

Then I'm going to Boston. Shortly after I get in the car, It will be Sunday. I will be a lot of money lighter, and several pictures and a horrific hangover heavier.

Word to your mother.

There's a radio show going on... I'm on it. You should listen to it.
91.3 FM in DE, PA and MD, or here everywhere else.

In a few seconds, I'll be reading this. I'm afraid.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a sad day for us here at the Malkuth Madness Network. It is today that we have to announce that, sadly, Attorney General John Ashcroft...
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How to make pizza:

1) Get hungry.

2) Decide to cook dinner.

3) Agonize over what to make

4) Finally settle on making pizza

5) Get ingredients:
3 cups of flour
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp extra extra extra extra virgin olive oil (If you wish, you may substitute 1 tbps of raging slut olive oil.)
1 tbsp Italian seasoning
1 tbsp pot (Tell people...
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I am John Nash.

At least, I will FUCK UP the Cryptic Byword.

Three minutes, baby! NEW RECORD!

So I went through all of today without hearing a single human voice.

Until about ten minutes ago. Jeffrey burst in the door, stomped in the room and said, "If only dicks secreted nicotine, I'd suck on them all day. Not that I need an incentive or anything, but, you know."

I said "... ... ..."

To which Jeff replied, "Todays mindfuck brought to you...
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And now... Fucking writer's block.

Radio show tonight! And guess what? We're live and EARLY!

If ya wanna hear some badass storytelling (please read: me reading at least one of the stories from my journal and probably making up a bunch of shit) and funnyass news, and punkass music.

At 11:00 EST turn on 91.3 FM (Philly to DC) or listen to Stream 1 at...
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